I read a story on Reddit from a 36-year-old man who is feeling hopeless about his lack of romantic and social experiences. Here’s his situation:
He’s never been in a relationship, never kissed anyone, and has no experience with intimacy. He admits that this makes him feel pathetic and hopeless.
Growing up in a conservative country, he moved to Canada at 18 and took on a lot of responsibilities. His focus was on studying, getting good grades, and building a stable life. He has achieved remarkable financial success graduating with a computer science degree, working hard, investing well, and accumulating over a million in assets. He owns his home and has built what many would see as a “successful” life.
However, he feels completely out of his depth socially. He’s overweight, bald, and lacks confidence in how to approach or talk to women. Although he had friends in school and at work, he never prioritized socializing or understanding how relationships work. He always thought he’d get to it “later,” but now, at 36, he’s sitting alone on Christmas wondering what happened.
Trust is another major struggle. He fears that if he does enter a relationship, he’ll constantly doubt whether someone is with him for who he is or for his financial stability. This fear is compounded by the belief that the only thing he has going for him is his success.
He’s overwhelmed by the idea that he’s missed the window for finding someone. The thought of being alone forever, of never experiencing intimacy, terrifies and depresses him. He doesn’t know where to start or how to proceed, given his lack of experience and deep-seated self-doubt. Part of him feels it’s already too late, but another part is desperate to try.
“It’s never too late to start. Many people find love and connection later in life. Focus on building confidence in small steps, it’s okay to be a beginner.”
“Working on self-improvement can be empowering. Consider joining clubs or activities you enjoy to meet people organically. Therapy can also help with self-esteem and trust issues.”
“Online dating could be a good starting point, but focus on authenticity. There are people who value kindness and stability over looks. Give yourself grace and take it one step at a time.”
This story is a powerful reminder of how success in one area of life doesn’t always translate to happiness in others. With patience and self-compassion, there’s always a way forward. What do you think is it ever too late to start, or is there hope for everyone to find connection?