What do you do when the person you trust the most betrays you in a way you never saw coming? That’s the heartbreaking reality I’m facing after learning a devastating secret from my fiancée.
I (33M) have been with my fiancée (30F) for four years, engaged for one. Early in our relationship, she told me she was infertile due to a medical condition she had in her teens. I was completely fine with this, as I’ve never been interested in having biological children. I figured adoption could be an option if we ever changed our minds.
Last week, everything came crashing down. I came home to find a positive pregnancy test on the bathroom counter. At first, I assumed she might be helping a friend, but when I asked her about it, she broke down and confessed the truth: she was never infertile. She admitted she lied because she thought I’d leave her if I knew she could have kids, given that I didn’t want them.
The worst part? She confessed that she had stopped taking birth control “a few months ago” without telling me, hoping I’d change my mind if a pregnancy happened “naturally.” I was stunned. This was not a misunderstanding or a simple mistake it was deception on a massive scale.
I told her this was an unforgivable breach of trust. Her response was that she did it “out of love” because she wanted us to have a deeper connection by building a family. But to me, it felt like manipulation. I couldn’t even process what was happening and told her I needed space, asking her to leave the house.
Now she’s staying with her sister, but she hasn’t stopped texting me, saying I’m being cruel for “kicking out the mother of my child.” Her family has also gotten involved, calling me a deadbeat for “abandoning her during pregnancy.”
I’m overwhelmed. I never wanted kids and now I am faced with an unplanned pregnancy created through deception. On top of that, the trust that formed the foundation of our relationship feels completely shattered.
When I shared this story, people were quick to point out that this situation goes far beyond a relationship dispute it is reproductive coercion, a serious violation of trust and autonomy. Many recommended seeking legal advice, especially given the complexities of the situation moving forward. Others emphasized that her actions were manipulative and controlling, suggesting the relationship might be beyond repair.
Am I wrong for asking her to leave after such a huge betrayal, or am I justified in needing space to process what feels like an unimaginable situation?