How do you handle being asked to take on a lifelong responsibility you never agreed to especially when it comes from your own family? That’s the position I found myself in when my dad and his wife dropped a serious request on me out of nowhere.
I (17M) mostly live with my mom, as my parents divorced when I was young. About five years ago, my dad married Rebecca, who has a daughter, Yazmin (7F). Yazmin has severe disabilities she can’t talk or care for herself at all. Her biological father is out of the picture, so my dad stepped in to help support her. He has been contributing to a fund set aside for her future care, which I know is important, even though it stings a bit since he’s invested more in her future than he ever has in mine.
Last week, my dad invited me over for dinner. When I got there, he and Rebecca sat me down and asked me to promise that, when they are gone, I’ll step in as Yazmin’s caregiver overseeing her care in a facility and even possibly taking her in myself if needed. They told me she’s my “family” now and that I “need to step up.”
I was stunned. I told them no. I said I wasn’t willing to take responsibility for her care.
My dad pushed back, saying he “doesn’t ask for much” and that I needed to be “a bigger man.” Rebecca asked how I could be around Yazmin and not feel protective toward her. I told them I barely know Yazmin and while I understand their concerns, they couldn’t guilt or bully me into accepting this responsibility.
They were furious, so I left. Since then, my dad has been calling repeatedly, accusing me of being selfish and heartless.
Thankfully, my mom stepped in and firmly told him he had no right to speak to me that way or expect me to take on such a massive responsibility.
Since sharing my story, people have pointed out that my dad and Rebecca’s request was completely unreasonable. They should be looking into professional care options, not placing this responsibility on me especially since I am still a minor and just starting my own life. Others noted that building a sense of family requires effort, something my dad and Rebecca never prioritized with me.
Am I really wrong for standing my ground, or were they out of line for expecting me to take on a role I never agreed to?