My fiance was dating “Katy” for years then they broke it off. She still comes around since she’s close to his family. By how much time they had dpent together, Katy seems to know my fiance really well. That didn’t bother me at first, but it became an issue when she asked that I let her give a speech st the wedding since she knows him well, and wanted to tell “few funny” stories about him. I felt extremely uncomfortable and told her I was sorry but it didn’t think if was appropriate for her to do that. My fmil got involved and started lecturing me saying I need to stop being negative and claimed I was making this “about me” (but that’s my wedding!)
My fiance is choosing to stay out of it, but the pressure is on me now. I’m being called “oversensitive” and needed to “losses up” as this could be a good opportunity to add more laughter and joy to the event, but to be completely honest on here, I don’t want his ex to take any part in our wedding, even if she’s a friend of the family and they’d known her since she was a teenager.
TOP COMMENT
Yup! If he can’t step up and shut this down, OP should shut down the relationship!
Absolutely NTA for not wanting the ex to make a spectacle at the wedding but a bit of an AH to herself for settling for a spineless wonder.
REPLY
I mean really, he wants to say out of it, hell he’s all in the middle of this, jeeze. Maybe this is something OP needs to pay attention to. I get that former exes can be tight with family, but does she not have a life of her own? WTF!!!
RESPONCE TO REPLY
If I were a bridesmaid in the wedding, I would talk OP into doing a rehearsal of how this absurdity might play out, and film it with all of our friends there, and one person to play the role of ex too.
The video begins with me introducing the ex:
I take the microphone and say, “And now fiancé’s ex will give a speech for the happy new couple, just minutes after they were married
<everyone gasps>
“That’s right, OP gasped too when she was asked/told his. I thought there must have been a hidden camera somewhere, but nope.
OP tried to politely dissuade ex, but then ex went to MIL and MIL tried to convince OP that she was being selfish by not wanting her fiancé’s ex to give a speech.
At her own wedding.
Where was fiancé as this was happening, you ask? He was “hoping to stay out of it”, so here we are.”
End video.
Then post it to Facebook or whatever social media they frequent.
TOP COMMENT
It’s not like they will walk down the aisle and he will suddenly grow a spine when he says I do. She’s going to be on her own with the MIL for the rest of her life. But I’m sure she will never respect OP’s parenting choices and OP will be stuck fighting that on her own. Rough
REPLY
Nope. MIL is going to be a nightmare of a grandmother. She will insist on everything being her way and fiancé will never say a word. She needs to get out now if he doesn’t stop this.
RESPONCE TO REPLY
Just wait until OP had a child and she finds out MIL handed the kid over to the ex for the day because she’s “like family” MIL clearly wishes the ex was the one he is marrying. It’s not going to get better.