So basically, I had ordered all my children’s christmas presents online to be sent to my in-laws home. As we are spending christmas there this year, my mother-in-law said that she didn’t mind wrapping them all up before we all got there. We arrived here yesterday and all was well. After the kids got settled in their room, I got a chance to ask her about the presents. She told me that they were mostly all wrapped with just a couple she needed to finish off and that they were stored in their basement. I did ask if she needed a hand finishing the rest off, but she insisted that I should rest after our journey.
so i rejoined my husband in the sitting room, a couple hours later she had gone to take a nap, so i went down to their basement to see how many had been wrapped and like she said there were some still left to wrap but as i was checking some of the bigger presents i noticed that they already had gift tags taped to them, when i flipped the tags they read “from grandma” on not just one, but on all of the bigger ones so i immediately went and told my husband about what i just found n he said that his mum had asked if she could put a few of her tags on as she “didn’t want to disappoint her grandsons” my husband agreed that she could and told me that it isn’t a big deal and that this is the only time we will be spending Christmas over at theirs (as they live 4hours away)
i’m mad that most of the bigger presents are things that i had pre ordered for a long time and put a lot of thought into and had some toys personalised with their name (which costed a lot of money) anyways my mother in law came back downstairs from her nap so i basically told her that i don’t think it’s right for her to just do that without asking me also, she got super upset and told me that i was being selfish and the tried guilt tripping by saying this could be one of the last Christmas’s she will have, she’s old but she’s not that old (71) she told me that i’m ruining christmas already, idk i’m trying my best to appear as nothing is wrong around my kids,
i do feel bad and that i maybe overreacted, i don’t know what to do, should i leave her tags on and apologise or put my own tags on and tell her she should have bought more?? this is turning into a nightmare.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
shouted at my mother-in-law over gift tags and I don’t want to upset my family for being reasonable.
TOP COMMENT
NTA, she is overstepping here and taking advantage of a situation. What did she actually get the grandkids??
She shouldnt have asked your husband as we was well aware she did that just to circumvent you. Clearly you were the one she organized everything to do with the presents with until she decided she wanted to put her name on things. Very deceptive of her and really shitty that your husband didnt tell you right away, even if he was okay with it. Maybe he should help more with presents overall too.
REPLY
Yeah, it seems like the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree here—OP’s husband doesn’t appear to have taken any initiative or responsibility for getting presents for his kids and still thinks he can unilaterally authorize his mom to take credit for gifts she didn’t buy??
NTA, OP, and I’m a little worried how much nonsense you’re dealing with in your marriage that you thought it was even a possibility that you could be the AH in this situation.
RESPONCE
I agree with you on this absolutely. OP’s husband dropped the ball here big time both by not contributing to the gift planning and by letting his mom take credit for OP’s hard work without even consulting her. It’s really concerning that he doesn’t see how unfair and disrespectful that is. OP is just not the problem here at all, and she deserves way more support, especially during what’s supposed to be a joyful time.
