My mother-in-law of 15 years asked me to lunch and finish Christmas shopping; she wasn’t sure what to get my 9-year-old son. We met at the video game store; they were out of my suggestion; I told her of another game (I had already purchased for my son but planned on sending it back to make it easier on MIL)
Next store: I’m adding things to my cart for my kids; she is asking who they are for and PULLING THEM OUT OF MY CART INTO HERS. I was like, “If you keep taking the stuff I’m going to buy, Santa’s going to stink this year,” and she didn’t seem to care. As we are checking out, I say I have to go to Best Buy next door and get my daughter her “big” gift from my husband and me: a camcorder. My MIL is a hoarder of casino-gained merchandise (if you know you know) and said, “I have some at home, I think,” and I was very clear in my response: Thanks, but no thanks. I’m excited to get this for her. MIL shops alongside at Best Buy; stands at checkout to completion while we talk about how my daughter has this #1 on her list and I was excited to see her open it Christmas morning.
2 days go by; my daughter stays overnight at Grandmas. When she came home, she was SO EXCITED to tell me that my brother has 7 presents under the tree; she has 6 and Nana GOT HER A VLOGGING CAMERA! “But we need your help with the memory card, mom.”
WHO DOES THAT?!? I texted her, asking why in the world she would ever think that was ok; her response was, “It’s a kids toy.” AS IF THAT MATTERS!! And her son, my husband; he “doesn’t understand why I have an issue.”
AITA?!?!
Edit TO ADD/CLARIFY:
I had never shopped with her before; the items she was removing from my cart were not make or break—more like I’m done shopping but I’m here in this store so I grabbed some little bonus Santa items. It never came to mind she would gift the camera before me. never; even when she was taking from my cart. It just wasn’t even an inkling of something to be wary of to me. Because who does that?
Edit TO ADD:
Thank you everyone for answering the question that this thread is meant to AITA or not. To everyone else making grand assumptions about what I do on a daily, where do you get off? You read a 300-word synopsis of one interaction; if you feel equipped and qualified to then judge the entire basis of my life, please make sure you post your PhD; if you don’t have one, shut your mouth.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
My mother-in-law could not have done it maliciously; I absolutely assume she did it maliciously.
TOP COMMENT
Nta. But… is your MIL always like this? Why would you keep taking her to stores? Tell her nothing; she is on an ice diet. You unfortunately let her by taking her with you if she is always like this. And the kids going a few days before Christmas. Well, yeah, she was one upping you. Did you not anticipate that? You have a husband problem. Do you normally get steamrolled by the 2?
REPLY
I have never shopped with her before, I thought I was finally breaking through with a real relationship with her. She is very religious- I am Not. It will always remain a point of contention so we don’t “hang out” independently much. This day though I came home actually feeling like she was my MOTHER in law, I thought we had connected on certain levels. Our home is lacking storage space, so I left a few items until the end so I didn’t have to leave expensive things hidden in my trunk; the things she was taking out of my cart were just what I call Santa bonus gifts… crap I grab at 5below when I go “just for stocking stuffers” I didn’t anticipate this; my brain doesn’t work that way- I could never in a million years have imagined she could in any realm of possibility think this was ok, but it is intentional- there is no way it isn’t and for that our relationship will never exist outside of Cordial Familial Facades.
RESPONCE
Spoken like someone who has never been married to or dated an incurable mama’s boy.
When you have a mama’s boy THAT severe, there is no changing them. Better to get the fuck out before more misery comes down.
