I read a story on Reddit about a young woman (23F) who felt conflicted over the Christmas gift she received from her dad and stepmom. Here’s her situation:
She and her dad haven’t had a great relationship for years, and while she likes her stepmom, they don’t talk much anymore. Despite their strained relationship, her dad and stepmom still send her a Christmas gift each year, which she’s always appreciated.
This year, she received a box from them and began unpacking it. As she went through the items, she realized they were things from a “gift drawer” they’d had over a decade ago. Growing up, her dad and stepmom kept a drawer of miscellaneous items candles, bath bombs, hand lotions, and other small gifts to use as last-minute presents for birthdays or events. She distinctly remembered being told to pick items from the drawer for friends’ birthday parties when she was younger.
The box included old bath bombs, a cheap hand soap with a bad smell, and, oddly, a small 4×4 painting taken off her stepsister’s wall. The painting was poorly made and covered in cat hair. This realization left her feeling hurt. She couldn’t help but compare how her stepsister was treated and noted that her dad and stepmom would never give her such thoughtless gifts.
While she acknowledges that receiving any gift is a blessing, knowing how little thought went into this one stung. She admitted to feeling like she would have preferred not to receive anything at all, especially since gifts from them often feel like obligations to maintain contact.
She ended her story by saying she’d try to make use of what she could and focus on being grateful, but she couldn’t shake the hurt feelings.
“You’re allowed to feel hurt. Gifts are supposed to show care and thoughtfulness, and re-gifting items from over a decade ago feels dismissive.”
“It’s not about the gift, it’s about the message it sends. You deserve to feel valued, especially by your own family.”
“If this keeps happening, it’s okay to set boundaries. It’s clear these gifts bring more hurt than joy.”
This story highlights how gifts can carry emotional weight beyond their material value. What do you think—is she justified in feeling hurt, or should she focus on being grateful for the gesture?