I read this story about someone avoiding family events after feeling disrespected. The writer (18F) shared that during her birthday celebration last year, her extended family threw a meal for her, including a cake her cousin baked. While setting the table for the meal, her cousin cut a slice out of the birthday cake before dinner because she was “starving.” Despite others excusing the behavior, the writer felt it was disrespectful and isolating.
She explained that this wasn’t an isolated incident. At her cousin’s birthday, a candle blew out, and they refused to cut the cake until it was relit, emphasizing how differently her family treats her. They also downplay her achievements, like mocking her graduation by saying, “Why celebrate? 300 other people graduated too.”
These experiences have left her feeling gaslit and excluded, and she’s chosen to avoid family events entirely. While she acknowledges it might seem petty, she feels it’s a way to protect her mental health from constant disrespect.
“Your feelings are valid. It’s not about the cake , it’s about respect and how your family consistently overlooks your accomplishments and feelings.”
“It might help to communicate how you feel to your family. If they’re unwilling to change, distancing yourself is a form of self-care, not pettiness.”
This story raises questions about the balance between maintaining family relationships and protecting one’s emotional well-being. How do you think someone should handle feeling excluded and disrespected by their own family?