What started as a heartfelt gesture for my sister’s wedding turned into a situation I never saw coming one that left me questioning whether I was wrong to stand my ground.
I (32M) was thrilled when my sister (28F) got engaged. As her only sibling, I wanted to do something special, so I offered to pay for her honeymoon as a wedding gift. She was over the moon, and we agreed on a dream destination. I booked everything: flights, hotel, and even some excursions to make it unforgettable.
Three weeks before the wedding, she called to tell me she and her fiancé had decided to downsize their big celebration into a small backyard ceremony. I thought it was a great idea intimate and more personal. But then she casually added, “Oh, and by the way, we’re inviting only immediate family, so you can still come, but your girlfriend can’t.”
For context, my girlfriend and I have been together for five years. She’s practically part of the family and was looking forward to celebrating with us. I tried to talk to my sister about it, explaining how hurtful it felt to exclude her, but she stuck to her decision, saying it was about keeping things small and hoping I’d understand.
We decided not to push it, and I went to the wedding alone. It was a nice ceremony, but it felt strange and incomplete without my girlfriend there. Afterward, my sister asked when she’d get the details for her honeymoon, and that’s when I told her I wouldn’t be paying for it anymore.
I explained that while I respected her choice for her wedding, excluding my girlfriend felt unfair. It didn’t sit right with me to give such a big gift when my relationship wasn’t valued enough to include her in the celebration.
She was furious, accusing me of being petty and ruining her moment. My parents have since chimed in, saying I should have let it go because “family comes first.” Meanwhile, my girlfriend fully supports my decision, but now I’m second-guessing myself.
Was I wrong for pulling back my gift, or was it reasonable to expect my generosity to reflect the same respect and inclusion I show to others?