For the past four years, I’ve worked tirelessly toward earning my PhD. The idea of walking across that stage has been a beacon of hope, motivating me through countless long nights and grueling research deadlines. It’s a moment I’ve envisioned for years, one I hoped to celebrate with my family and loved ones. But now, my sister’s wedding plans have thrown everything into question.
She recently announced that her wedding will be held on the same day as my graduation. The date, she says, is significant due to numerology, and she isn’t willing to consider changing it. While I understand her reasoning, the situation feels difficult to reconcile.
Her wedding will be a courthouse ceremony followed by dinner with immediate family. It’s not an elaborate affair, and she’s made it clear she doesn’t want much involvement from me.
For example, I spent time and money becoming ordained specifically to officiate her wedding, but she’s since decided she doesn’t want that and will have the courthouse handle everything. I offered to plan her bridal shower and bachelorette party, but she declined, having already arranged and paid for those herself.
What makes this even harder is that my graduation is out of state, meaning there’s no way to attend both events. My family originally planned to attend my graduation, but now they’d be forced to choose between supporting me or attending her wedding.
Adding to the awkwardness, my wedding anniversary is two days after her chosen date. While my husband is annoyed by the timing, I’ve assured him it’s just a coincidence and not something worth holding against her. Still, this entire situation feels like a collision of priorities, and I’m left wondering what to do.
My first instinct was to put my sister first to attend her wedding no matter what. But her actions have made me feel like my presence isn’t particularly important to her. If I choose to attend my graduation instead, would I really be wrong for prioritizing something I’ve worked so hard to achieve?
