I’ve always enjoyed meeting new people and having meaningful conversations, even on first dates. But recently, a seemingly harmless question turned an otherwise pleasant evening into something much more uncomfortable.
I’m 34M and I had been sent to Istanbul, Turkey, for a three-month work assignment. While there, I met a 29F Turkish woman and decided to take her out for dinner. We went to a classy restaurant with a romantic atmosphere, excellent service and great food. The evening started well we were both opening up about our lives and exchanging stories.
At one point, she mentioned something about the economic challenges in Turkey, referencing inflation and currency exchange rates. Genuinely curious, I asked, “Has your economy been struggling like this for a while, or is it a recent development? What’s causing it?” My question was intended to keep the conversation flowing and to understand her perspective as a local.
Her response took me by surprise. With a stern tone, she said, “You’re an educated man. You could have researched that yourself. Why are you asking me to explain it to you?” I was taken aback, as I hadn’t expected such a reaction to what I thought was an innocent and relevant question.
Trying to diffuse the situation, I calmly explained, “I didn’t mean anything by it. I’m just curious because I don’t know much about Turkey’s economy. I’m a foreigner and this isn’t something I’ve followed closely since it doesn’t impact my life directly.”
Instead of easing the tension, this seemed to escalate things. She responded angrily, “Why are you trying to tell me you’re better off than us in Turkey?” Her tone was defensive and accusatory, leaving me completely shocked.
At that moment, I decided to cut the evening short. Her reaction felt unnecessarily hostile and I couldn’t help but wonder how she might respond to more significant disagreements in the future. If such a neutral topic had led to this, what would happen if we faced real challenges down the line?
I apologized sincerely, saying, “I’m so sorry this topic upset you. I didn’t mean to offend you or hurt your feelings. But I don’t think we’re on the same wavelength and I don’t see a connection forming between us. I’ll excuse myself so you can enjoy your dinner. Have a good night.” I then paid for the meal and left the restaurant.
Was I wrong for ending the date early and leaving her alone, or was I justified in prioritizing my peace of mind?
