I (18F) do all the shopping in the house. Its been my job since I was like 12. My dad hates going shopping so I never ask him. For Christmas, I am cooking. I had a very specific grocery list because I was making things that I hadn’t made before. My parents didn’t let me go shopping yesterday so I had to go today. My dad said he would grab certain things to help me out and I said okay. I gave him a list. I really needed chicken thighs and blocks of cheese. He came home with ground chicken and only mozzarella cheese that was pre-shredded.
I told my mom about it because this isn’t the first time he’s done this and it made me upset. She got mad at me for being upset with him because we never ask him for anything. I have asked him multiple times to get things for me and he either gets the wrong thing, doesn’t get anything i need or complains.
For example, I wanted to go shopping before my wisdom tooth removal. I had a list of things with pictures because he said he could grab them, and certain brands make me sick. He got 4/20 things on the list and said everything else was not necessary. He went with my money and said that.
Now my mom is upset with me because she is in debt from always buying stuff for the house. But the whole reason that’s happened is because of my dad’s weaponized incompetence. So am I the asshole for being mad at me, dad, and telling my mom?
TL;DR Dad got the wrong things at the store after getting a list with pictures. Im mad because it has happened multiple times. And mom is made because i told her.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
I might be the asshole for telling my mom about it when she is struggling with debt because of it.
TOP COMMENT
NTA. You have been doing the grocery shopping since you were 12?! While this isn’t a bad skill, why aren’t your parents involved? Why is your mom allowing your dad to be completely incompetent on this? You gave him your money and did he even give any back? You’d be better off getting an Instagram cart shopper at this point or doing a curbside pickup. Make some crap meal and when asked, just say it’s what Dad got, despite the very detailed list he was given.
REPLY
NTA. You have been shopping for the house since you were 12? Wow, your parents are terrible. Both of them. Dad may be weaponizing his incompetence; mom just straight up dumped her adult responsibilities on a 12-year-old.
RWSPONCE
I should have clarified that it was shopping with parental supervision till I was like 15, mainly my dad because my mom works till 11pm from 8am most days. Im not defending her, just wanted to clarify.
