This story captures the pain of dealing with an insensitive mother-in-law (MIL) during an incredibly difficult time in life.
The writer shared how her MIL has a history of saying thoughtless, insensitive things, but her behavior during a recent pregnancy loss was especially hurtful. It became clear that her MIL struggles to understand emotions unless they’re explicitly explained to her something that has caused unnecessary pain and frustration.
During the miscarriage, the writer’s parents were in town to help out, and her in-laws joined them for lunch. While they were eating, she started cramping and had to rush to the bathroom, where she was still passing tissue three days after the loss. Her MIL didn’t understand why this was such a big deal until her husband bluntly explained, “She’s passing tissue that still resembles the umbilical cord.” The writer was already enduring emotional and physical pain, and having to hear her grief reduced to an explanation felt like an additional blow.
A week or two later, her in-laws came over again to help with gardening. The writer, trying to make the best of things, cooked lunch for everyone and found a moment alone with her MIL. She opened up about how hard the past few weeks had been but said she was starting to feel stronger. She even mentioned a small, unrelated frustration about their cat having diarrhea and needing to be bathed. Instead of offering support or empathy, her MIL responded, “Wait until you have kids, it gets way worse!” It was a thoughtless comment that hit hard. All the writer wanted in that moment was to have kids, and she had just lost her baby. The comment felt cruel and dismissive.
As if that wasn’t enough, tragedy struck again when the writer’s grandmother passed away just a week later. She and her husband had to make a quick trip to attend the funeral, and she sent a message informing her in-laws about the loss. Not a single one of them responded. When her husband confronted his MIL about it, she brushed it off, saying, “I thought it wasn’t a big deal since her grandmother had been suffering for a while with dementia.”
That lack of empathy and dismissive attitude was the final straw. While the writer’s husband remains close to his family and is supportive of her frustrations, she’s reached a breaking point. She’s no longer willing to go above and beyond to maintain a relationship with her MIL. When she becomes pregnant again, she plans to keep it private until past four months because she no longer trusts her MIL to handle the news with care.
This story is heartbreaking. The writer isn’t overreacting, she’s dealing with a MIL who consistently shows a lack of sensitivity and empathy, even during some of the most vulnerable and painful moments of her life. Her decision to protect herself and her future pregnancy is completely valid. She doesn’t owe her MIL an explanation for creating distance, and focusing on her own well-being is the right choice. It’s a reminder that relationships, even with family, require mutual respect and understanding, and when that’s missing, it’s okay to step back to protect your peace.