This story captures the emotional toll of dealing with a mother-in-law (MIL) who continuously comments on deeply personal decisions, leaving the writer feeling frustrated and disrespected.
The writer, a 30-year-old newlywed, has been navigating relentless comments from her MIL about when she and her husband will have children. Married in August, the couple has decided to wait until her husband, a surgical resident, completes his training in June 2025. With his future attending job offering a significant salary increase, they’ve planned their timeline thoughtfully, aiming for financial stability before starting a family.
But her MIL doesn’t see it that way. As the mother of an only child, she frequently brings up her own experience, sharing how she had her son at 25 so she could be a “young mom with energy to enjoy her child.” It’s a comment the writer has heard countless times, always coupled with comparisons to her MIL’s friends, who are now “young grandparents.” These remarks feel like subtle jabs, implying that waiting to have children makes the writer somehow less capable or desirable as a future parent.
What stings the most is how dismissive these comments feel. The writer’s own mother had her at 36 and is still active and vibrant, proving that age doesn’t define one’s ability to be an engaged and energetic parent. Yet, every time the MIL raises the topic, it feels like she’s invalidating the writer’s choices and perspective.
Today, the MIL brought it up again, questioning whether the couple even wanted kids since they hadn’t had any yet. Feeling her patience fray, the writer finally spoke up. She told her MIL, in polite but firm terms, that her remarks were insulting. She explained their timeline and emphasized that their decision was based on creating a stable financial foundation for their future children. She even pointed out that being a parent isn’t about fulfilling a grandparent’s desires, saying, “Having a kid isn’t an accessory for a grandmother.”
Her words didn’t land well. Her MIL bristled at the response and doubled down on her own choices, declaring once again that being a “young mom” was the best decision she made for her son. The conversation ended unresolved, with the writer feeling drained and increasingly weary of the repetitive commentary.
It’s clear this situation is more than just a difference in opinion. The MIL’s repeated comments disregard the couple’s thoughtful planning and make an already personal decision feel like a public debate. The writer’s feelings are entirely valid, she’s not overreacting to feel frustrated when her choices are constantly being questioned.
Moving forward, it might help to establish firmer boundaries around this topic. The writer has already spoken up, which is an important step, but if the comments persist, she and her husband could consider addressing it together. A united front might send a stronger message to the MIL that their timeline and choices are not up for debate.
The writer’s decision to wait until they’re ready for children is thoughtful and responsible. Despite her MIL’s opinions, she’s making the best choice for herself, her husband, and their future family and that’s what truly matters.