This story highlights the delicate balance of managing holiday traditions, family dynamics, and personal boundaries, especially when guilt trips are involved.
The writer and her family decided to spend Christmas out of state at a theme park, borrowing her mother-in-law’s (MIL) larger, more comfortable car for the trip. Before they left, MIL made a “joking” comment that she wasn’t going to let it go that they left her alone on Christmas while also borrowing her car. The writer and her husband reminded MIL that they had invited her to join them, and she had declined. She wasn’t even truly alone, as she spent the holiday with her husband (FIL).
On Christmas Day, MIL called and attempted to guilt-trip her son. She told him she needed more notice next time for their plans, suggesting an exaggerated timeline like three months. Her son calmly reminded her that she had chosen to stay behind and generously loaned them her car. He assured her that he’d share future travel plans as soon as he knew them but made it clear that he wouldn’t be tied to her timeline.
She then questioned why they spent five days at the theme park, implying it must have been boring and suggesting they could have just stayed home. Her son explained that if they’d stayed home, he would’ve had to work, as Christmas fell on a Wednesday. They had already celebrated Christmas with her before their trip, so the day itself was just another weekday to him. MIL finally dropped the subject.
Later, her son shared with the writer that he knows his mother feels lonely, but he doesn’t feel responsible for her feelings. His priority is spending time with his wife and kids. The writer appreciated his stance but admitted that if she’d been on the phone, she might have gone off on MIL. She firmly believes they’re entitled to enjoy their vacation without guilt and questions why they should conform to MIL’s idea of a proper holiday. Her husband reassured her that they didn’t need to and expressed no regrets about spending Christmas away from his parents.
When they returned the borrowed car, the writer informed MIL and FIL that she wouldn’t be attending church with them on Sunday because their five-year-old was sick, and they didn’t want her coughing all over everyone. MIL didn’t seem thrilled when their child mentioned that Santa had come to the hotel instead of their house, likely because she had prepared stockings and seemed attached to her own version of the holiday.
Now, the writer is bracing for another potential guilt trip if MIL decides to pull together a fancy “Christmas” lunch or make a scene about the stockings. She’s debating whether to walk out or let it go, but one thing is clear: she’s standing firm in her belief that she’s allowed to enjoy her family’s vacation choices without guilt or unnecessary drama.
This story showcases a family navigating their own traditions and priorities while setting boundaries with a MIL who struggles to let go of control. The writer and her husband’s calm, united approach is a strong example of how to handle guilt-tripping relatives with grace and determination.