I read a story on Reddit about a mom struggling with her mother-in-law (MIL) overstepping boundaries during a week-long visit. The MIL has been referring to herself as the mom of the woman’s three-month-old baby, even saying “mama” before correcting herself and adding “grandma.” The situation has left the new mom feeling uncomfortable and angry in her own home.
The MIL and father-in-law (FIL) are staying in a small two-bedroom apartment, with the FIL sharing the same room as her husband’s office/guest room. Because the MIL isn’t comfortable with the FIL being in the room while she breastfeeds, the new mom has had to retreat to her bedroom every time the baby needs to eat, even though it’s her own home. This arrangement has made her feel like a guest in her own space, and she feels stifled by their presence.
The mom has noticed her baby cries whenever the MIL holds her, which she believes might be caused by the confusion from MIL repeatedly calling herself “mama.” Even the FIL has mistakenly addressed the MIL as “mama” when talking to the baby, adding to the frustration. The new mom suspects the MIL is living vicariously through her child, as she has experienced the loss of children in the past, but this doesn’t make the behavior any easier to tolerate.
The mom wants to address the issue but feels trapped because she fears her concerns will be dismissed to protect her MIL. Her husband has tried to cheer her up, and it seems the situation bothers him too, but he hasn’t taken steps to stop his mother’s behavior. She’s now hiding in her bedroom, waiting for the visit to end and feeling emotionally drained.
If your husband won’t put a stop to this, you have a husband problem. This is beyond inappropriate. Tell her to knock it off or she gets NO time with LO. The baby has ONE mom, and that’s you! I bet she’d be angry if her MIL ever tried that with DH.
“Stop it right now. You are not her mama. Do it again and you will be the GRANDMA we never see.” Stand up for yourself!
I’m literally breastfeeding right now,Reddit is one of my breastfeeding go-to’s. I go to the other room when breastfeeding to respect my FIL and am okay with that. I wouldn’t be able to handle doing that in my own home for a whole week with a 3-month-old. If FIL is fussy about breastfeeding, then he needs to be the one to leave the room or go stay in a hotel. The MIL being called Mama is straight-up delusional. She is experiencing mental health issues.
The story struck a chord with readers, many of whom emphasized the importance of setting boundaries and reclaiming control in her own home. They urged her to address the issue directly, with or without her husband’s help, to protect her role as her child’s mother and her own mental well-being.