When my ex, the father of my two boys (5 and 3), went to prison in April, life changed drastically for everyone. Before his incarceration he shared custody of the kids, taking them half the time for about eight months. Prior to that I was their sole caregiver.
Once he went away I naturally resumed full custody. His girlfriend of a year who he lived with briefly was largely uninvolved during this time.
After months of no contact or inquiries about the kids she suddenly reappeared claiming her role as their “stepmom” following a quick prison marriage. Since then she’s been relentless asking for visitation rights, pushing to have the kids on holidays and even requesting overnight stays in another city. This behavior strikes me as bizarre especially since she didn’t show much interest in my children before.
What makes this more troubling is the behavior of their father. He hasn’t once called to speak with the boys directly unless they happen to be at their grandmother’s house when he calls her.
When it comes to visitation he refuses to see them unless his new “wife” is the one bringing them. I’ve refused to allow that. I’ve offered to let their grandmother take them to visit him since she’s trustworthy and has a long-standing relationship with the kids but his “wife” won’t allow it going so far as to alienate him from his own family.
The thought of handing over my boys to someone they barely know who seems more fixated on asserting control than actually caring for them feels irresponsible and unsafe. Her demands have escalated to the point where she’s messaging me multiple times a week. Yet my priority remains the well-being of my kids and I’ve firmly said no to her requests.
While she insists that her new role as “stepmom” entitles her to a say in their lives I know better. The fact that she married their father after he went to prison doesn’t grant her any legal or emotional claim to my children.
The safety stability and happiness of my boys come first and that means keeping them away from someone who hasn’t earned their trust or mine.
I’ve been firm in my decision and have told her that if she truly believes she has a right to visitation she’s welcome to take the matter to court. Frankly I’d be curious to see how she explains to a judge that she’s entitled to time with children she barely knows because of a rushed prison marriage. Until then my answer remains a resolute no.