So, my (34M) sister (29F) recently got married. It was a huge, fancy event, and she spent the past year planning every single detail. One of her main rules was that it would be a child-free wedding. I completely understand and respect that; it’s her wedding, her rules.
Here’s the thing: I’m a single dad to my son (6M). I don’t have much of a support system, and his mom isn’t in the picture. When I got the invite, I told my sister I’d love to come but explained my situation. I asked if there was any way I could bring my son or, if not, if she’d be willing to help me cover a babysitter for the day since it would require an overnight trip. She shut both ideas down immediately, saying, “It’s not her responsibility” and to “figure it out like everyone else.”
Fair enough. But I couldn’t find anyone to watch him. I even offered to hire a sitter to stay with him in the hotel during the ceremony and reception, but my sister still said no, claiming it “violated the spirit” of her child-free rule. So, I let her know I couldn’t make it. She was furious and told me I was being selfish and that I should’ve “made it work.”
The wedding went on, and I didn’t attend. Now my entire family is blowing up my phone, calling me an a**hole for missing such an important day. My sister won’t speak to me, and my parents are saying I should’ve “tried harder” or “just left him with someone for one night.”
AITAH for standing my ground and not going when I couldn’t bring my son or find a sitter?
Edit for clarification:
To those asking if I could’ve left him with a friend or someone else: I genuinely don’t have anyone I trust to leave him with overnight.
Edit 2:
I also want to add that my sister has met my son maybe twice and has never really taken an interest in my life as a single parent. This wasn’t just about the wedding—it feels like a bigger issue about her lack of empathy.
TOP COMMENT
NTA If the whole family is at the wedding and your sister said no to you hiring a sitter to stay at the hotel, then you had no other options. You can’t just leave your child with a random stranger overnight for your sister‘s wedding. And anyone expecting you to do that is dumbass.
REPLY
I was hired as a babysitter for a wedding several years ago. The mother of the bride stopped by near the end & thanked us for agreeing to work, as it was the first time in a long while that the siblings had just sat around & talked without needing to pause to attend to kids.
RESPONCE
This is the way. Been to a few weddings where there’s a kids corner with people looking after them; they eat there and stay there. Parents come in the day hello and check on the child throughout and the reception goes by without a hitch.
