When we moved to a new suburb I thought we were making the best decision for our family. What I didn’t expect was the backlash from my husband’s family accusing me of being selfish and breaking up their family.
I’m an engineer and the primary breadwinner for our family of three. My husband works at a call center earning an average income. I cover the majority of our expenses from large bills and childcare to food and household needs. I also handle most of the daily logistics including our toddler’s daycare drop-offs and pickups. Previously we lived closer to my husband’s family about 15 minutes away because they said they’d help with childcare. But that help never came. They claimed even a 15-minute drive was inconvenient unless we moved within 5 kilometers of them.
Meanwhile I was driving over an hour each way to work and daycare with a fussy toddler in tow trying to manage traffic and stress while working full-time. It became unbearable so we moved closer to my workplace cutting my commute time and making life more manageable for both me and our child.
My husband’s family didn’t take the news well. They’ve been vocal about how I’ve taken their son and grandchild away ignoring the fact that this move benefits our immediate family’s well-being. When they confronted me about the decision I explained that I make most of the financial contributions and that this move was necessary to support our family’s needs. That only made things worse. They accused me of gloating and being selfish for prioritizing myself over their access to my husband and child.
It’s not about gloating. It’s about making decisions that protect my peace and provide for my family. Two hours in the car every day wasn’t good for my child or me.
Here’s what others have had to say about the situation.
One person said “Sometimes the hardest choices are the ones that protect your peace and your family even if others don’t understand.”
Another added “Your child comes first and two hours in the car every day when it isn’t necessary isn’t good for your child. Nope. NTA.”
Someone else noted “Somehow I get the impression your husband does nothing to mediate his family drama.”
Hearing these perspectives reassures me that our decision was the right one. My priority is my family’s well-being and while I understand my husband’s family’s feelings their demands can’t come at the expense of my health or my child’s needs.