Graduating from college was supposed to be one of the proudest moments of my life. As the first person in my family to earn a degree it wasn’t just my achievement it was a milestone my whole family celebrated.
My parents threw a big graduation party for me inviting relatives and close family friends to honor the years of hard work I had put in. But what should have been my moment quickly turned into something entirely different.
My older sister Sophie (28F) has always been the golden child. She’s charming outgoing and always manages to draw attention at every family event. I’ve worked hard to get where I am but Sophie has always lived life on her own terms hopping from one relationship to another and basking in the family’s admiration.
At my graduation party Sophie brought her boyfriend Ethan (30M) whom she had been dating for about a year. Everything seemed normal at first but Sophie was unusually giddy and excited all day. I thought maybe she was just happy for me. I was wrong.
During the toast Ethan suddenly got down on one knee and proposed to Sophie in the middle of the celebration. The room erupted into cheers and applause. Just like that the entire focus shifted away from my graduation and onto their engagement. I felt blindsided and deeply hurt.
I stayed quiet through the rest of the party but afterward I pulled Sophie aside and told her what she did was selfish and disrespectful. She brushed me off saying it wasn’t a big deal because it’s just a family thing and everyone would forget about it. I told her she could have chosen any other day to get engaged but she rolled her eyes and called me dramatic.
Frustrated I confided in some family members and close friends about what had happened. To my surprise most of them sided with Sophie. They told me to let it go and that I was being bitter and selfish for not being happy for her. A few people understood my feelings but the overwhelming response was that I was overreacting and making her engagement about me.
Now Sophie is furious with me for badmouthing her and accuses me of trying to ruin her engagement. My parents are caught in the middle unsure of how to respond. They don’t fully understand why I’m upset but also don’t want to take sides.
Here’s what others have said about this situation.
One person commented “NTA. You don’t propose at someone else’s event birthday wedding graduation baby shower unless the guest of honor explicitly says it’s okay. Also if Sophie was acting strange before the proposal it makes me think it wasn’t Ethan’s idea but hers.”
Another added “You didn’t ruin her proposal. What you need to do is announce your pregnancy in the middle of her wedding reception.”
I’m left wondering if my feelings are valid or if I should just let it go. But it’s hard to forget how my moment was taken away without a second thought.