You’ve been with your partner for five years and share a four-year-old son together. For most of this time, you’ve faced ongoing challenges with your mother-in-law (MIL) and sister-in-law (SIL). They can be sweet and kind when it suits them, but often, they’re dismissive and disrespectful toward you. Despite these patterns, your partner seems oblivious to their behavior. While he tries to validate your feelings, he never fully backs you up, which leaves you feeling unsupported.
The current issue revolves around your son’s car seat safety. You’ve decided that your son will remain rear-facing in the car because it’s safer. However, your MIL consistently ignores this decision. She argues that front-facing is better, citing reasons like potential harm to his legs. She’s also influenced by her daughter, who switched her own child to front-facing prematurely. Despite multiple conversations where you’ve explained your stance, your MIL continues to argue and disregards your wishes.
The last straw happened when your MIL arrived to pick up your son, and you saw that the car seat was front-facing. You were in a rush for a meeting and didn’t have time to make her change it back. You voiced your disapproval loudly, making it clear to your son that this setup was unsafe and would not happen again. Still, when they returned later that day, the car seat was still front-facing. Adding to the frustration, your son later told you that being rear-facing would “prevent him from growing,” a claim you suspect your MIL planted in his head.
When you shared your frustration with your partner, he suggested giving MIL one more chance. He proposed telling her explicitly to respect the rear-facing rule and only reconsidering if she continued to defy it. This response infuriated you. You’ve already told her multiple times, and her repeated disregard should be enough. You pointed out that he was, once again, excusing her behavior instead of supporting you.
This isn’t just about the car seat—it’s part of a larger pattern. For five years, you’ve been the one finding solutions and addressing conflicts with his family, while your partner stays on the sidelines. The stress is taking a toll on your relationship, leaving you questioning whether it’s sustainable. On top of that, you’re dealing with devastating news about your father’s health, which compounds your emotional burden.
Comments and Responses
Comment 1:
“If your MIL won’t follow the rules you’ve set for your child, she doesn’t get the privilege of unsupervised time with him. She’s already had chances to correct her behavior and hasn’t. Bringing your son into it by telling him lies about safety is an absolute deal breaker. Your husband doesn’t want to confront her because it’s easier for him to argue with you instead. But if she can’t follow this rule, how many others will she ignore?”
Response of this comment:
“Thank you so much. I started to wonder if I was being too intense, but you’re absolutely right. My husband avoids confronting her because it’s easier for him, but that’s not fair to me. I love him, and he loves me, but if he can’t stand up for our family, I don’t know if I can keep putting up with this.”
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