I (27F) broke up with my boyfriend (33M) a few days before Christmas. His mom reached out to me right after Christmas, saying she missed me and hoped I was feeling better. She also mentioned that she hoped to see me soon. I realized then that he hadn’t told his parents about our breakup and had lied, saying I wasn’t there for Christmas because I was sick.
I reached out to him and told him he should let them know, but he insisted it wasn’t their business. Fast forward to a few days before New Year’s Eve, his mom texted me again, asking if I was coming to their family party. At that point, I told her we had broken up. When she asked why, I simply told her to ask her son.
Later, he texted me, furious, saying I had no right to tell his family. I explained that I didn’t go into details and only responded because she kept reaching out. I thought that was the end of it.
However, last weekend, a mutual friend told me that he was going around claiming he broke up with me because I’m “crazy.” That was incredibly upsetting, especially since I had been keeping quiet about the real reason we broke up: he had gotten blackout drunk and gotten physical with me. I even had photos of my injuries as proof.
I decided enough was enough. I shared the truth with the mutual friend, including the photos. I also sent his mom a message with the photos and an explanation. I told her:
“Just so you know the true reason we broke up I heard he’s spinning the story against me. Your son is abusive and has hurt me on numerous occasions. I wish you the best, but I wanted to clear up whatever he may have told you.”
She responded apologetically and supported me, but my ex went ballistic. He blew up my phone, accusing me of making private matters public and saying that it wasn’t anyone else’s business.
I had no intention of sharing the details initially. I wasn’t trying to stir up drama I even stayed silent when his mom first reached out. But when I heard he was lying and calling me crazy, I felt like it was only fair to defend myself.
Comment from a reader:
“Honey, the next time a boyfriend gets physical with you, file a police report. Abusers often victim-blame and call their exes ‘crazy.’ You don’t owe him your silence. The moment he hit you, he lost any right to anonymity. I’d tell everyone the real reason you broke up, but please be careful he may try to retaliate. Stay safe, little sister.”
Reply :
“Thank you. I didn’t want to cause unnecessary drama and wasn’t planning to tell anyone. I did take photos, just in case, because he loves to gaslight and call me crazy. I only spoke up when he started spreading lies about me.”
