First meeting with MIL and DH lies LONG POST. R/MotherInLawsFromHell

I read this story on Reddit about a woman navigating a difficult situation with her husband regarding his mother. The couple had been low or no contact with the mother-in-law (MIL) for over a year, with only her husband maintaining limited contact. Back in November, he expressed interest in seeing his cousin, who was in town, and potentially meeting with his MIL at the same time. The wife agreed but requested that he start therapy before meeting his mom to prepare emotionally. He agreed, but never followed through.

As the meeting date approached, her husband denied plans to see his mom and reassured her it was only his cousin he intended to meet. However, he returned from the outing acting suspiciously guilty. When questioned, he stuck to his story, but his behavior and a hefty lunch bill raised her suspicions. Later, during a casual outing, she confronted him directly, accusing him of lying about seeing his mom. He initially denied it but then admitted to it, justifying his lie by saying he was scared to tell her, even though she had been supportive of him meeting his mother.

This led to a heated argument, during which her husband suggested divorce in frustration. The next day, he apologized profusely, brought her flowers, and begged her not to leave him. While he acknowledged his wrongdoing and promised to do better, the wife felt that the apology and gestures were insufficient to repair the damage. She wanted to understand his thought process and the details of his meeting with his mother, but she struggled with whether asking for such specifics would come across as controlling.

Commenters pointed out that trust had been broken and emphasized the need for therapy.“An apology by itself is only the start, not the end of this. What he needs to do to make this right is get the therapy he agreed to get months ago and rebuild trust with actions, not just words.” Another added: “His responses show he’s still emotionally tied to his mother in a way that therapy could address. Lying and withholding information isn’t how adult relationships work.”

The general consensus was that the husband’s behavior stems from a deeply ingrained response to his mother’s emotional abuse and control, and therapy would be a vital step for him to navigate these dynamics healthily. For the wife, commenters encouraged her to establish clear boundaries and communicate her needs while holding her husband accountable for his actions and commitments.