My friend’s transformation after getting married has been hard to ignore. Before his marriage he was a kind and patient person or so I thought. But over time he’s become someone entirely different. He gets angry easily yelling at his wife over minor issues. It’s not just behind closed doors either; he’s yelled at her in front of family and friends.
One dinner gathering stands out vividly in my mind. We were all seated chatting and eating when he said something to her something I didn’t catch. She responded and without warning he grabbed her hand and slammed it against the table.
The force and the suddenness of it made everyone fall silent. I’ll never forget the look on her face; she was holding back tears. She excused herself and didn’t come back that night. He brushed it off laughing and saying, “Don’t worry she’s just a crybaby.” It was the first time I saw something so blatant and I couldn’t shake the feeling that this wasn’t a one-time incident.
Then came last week. He called me in a rage shouting, “THAT BITCH IS CHEATING ON ME RIGHT NOW.” I tried to calm him down and told him he was probably misunderstanding the situation. And I was right.
His wife had simply been giving directions to a delivery driver over the phone. But instead of asking her calmly about the call he checked her phone logs and immediately accused her of cheating.
When he realized his mistake he expected her to forgive him but she’s had enough. She’s now asking for a divorce and he’s furious. He called me to vent about how “unreasonable” she’s being expecting me to back him up. Instead I told him she had every right to leave.
I even reminded him that she should have walked away the moment he slammed her hand on the table in front of everyone. He exploded calling me a homewrecker and accusing me of encouraging her to break up their marriage. He even tried to excuse his behavior by saying, “I only hit her once it was a moment of anger.”
But that one moment was enough. If he could do something so shocking in public I can’t imagine what happens in private. I told him plainly that his behavior is abusive and that she deserves better. Now he’s furious with me but I stand by what I said. She has every right to prioritize her safety and happiness and I won’t apologize for pointing that out.