Marriage is about partnership, trust, and knowing your spouse has your back especially when you need it most. But after a series of incidents with my husband’s family, I’m starting to feel like I’m standing alone.
I (34F) have been married to my husband (32M) for eight years. A year ago, during a confrontation with his brother, I was called “bitchy” right in front of my husband. What stung the most wasn’t the insult, but my husband’s silence. He didn’t defend me, didn’t say a word.
Later, I explained to him how important it is for me to feel like I can rely on him in public, to know he’ll stand up for me no matter what. If I’m in the wrong, I’ve told him he can address it privately later, but in the moment, I need to know he’s in my corner.
Fast forward to this holiday season. We’re staying out of state at my in-laws’ house. Last night, after a long, exhausting day of being on kid duty while my husband went ice fishing, I was feeling completely overwhelmed. During dinner prep, I was making a plate for our 3-year-old when my father-in-law decided to mess with me. He got in my personal space, following me around the kitchen island like it was some kind of joke.
I politely asked him to give me space. He ignored me. I then firmly said, “Back up! I’m not joking.” He laughed and kept going. Feeling cornered, I turned to my husband and said, “Tell your dad I’m not joking!” expecting him to step in. Instead, he said and did nothing.
I felt humiliated and hurt. This wasn’t just about his father’s behavior it was about my husband’s unwillingness to stand up for me, even after I explicitly asked for his help. It felt like the incident with his brother all over again, despite our conversation about how crucial it is for me to feel supported.
Now I want to leave early and go home, but my husband insists I’m being unreasonable and overreacting. I’m left wondering if I’m asking too much or if I’m justified in feeling betrayed.