Is it wrong to set boundaries when you’re just trying to be helpful? That’s what I have been wondering ever since a seemingly simple favor at the beach turned into an awkward situation.
My family and I recently spent a weekend at the beach. You can rent umbrellas and chairs, but a lot of people bring their own gear. We set up next to a family with a baby and a young child. They were using regular umbrellas to shield themselves from the sun, while we had a larger rental umbrella with some extra shade.
Throughout the day, we chatted with them a bit and they seemed nice enough. At one point, when we were getting ready to swim, the mom asked if she could lay her baby under our umbrella while we were gone. She explained that holding their smaller umbrella all day was exhausting and just wanted a short break.
She asked how long we’d be gone and we said we’d be back in about an hour though we were clear it could be sooner or later. There were no promises, just a rough estimate. She thanked us and set her baby down.
We came back about 40 minutes later and found the baby sound asleep, complete with a noise machine running. When we politely let the mom know we were ready to sit down, she asked if we could wait another 20 minutes until the baby’s nap was done.
We told her we could not, as we were ready to relax after swimming. She seemed frustrated but picked up her baby, who woke up briefly but settled down again pretty quickly. Still, she was clearly annoyed and made a comment about how we “promised” her an hour.
Since sharing this story, many people have weighed in. Some felt the mom was being unreasonable, especially since we had only given an estimated timeframe and made no firm promises. Others pointed out that bringing a baby to the beach without proper shade equipment is not ideal and suggested pop-up beach tents as a simple solution.
I didn’t think we were wrong for expecting to use our own umbrella after being kind enough to share it temporarily. Was it unfair to set that limit, or was the mom expecting too much after a friendly gesture?