My husband’s mother passed away, and his father remarried five years ago, changing the dynamics of what was once a warm family home into something unwelcoming. I’ve consistently felt like an outsider, evidenced by various acts of unequal treatment.
For instance, my father-in-law once scolded me for holding a wine bottle “incorrectly.” Christmas has been particularly revealing; I’ve received no gifts while watching my brothers-in-law be showered with thoughtful presents. Even when I was pregnant last year, I was overlooked.
When our son was born, my in-laws visited the hospital with nothing for him or me, starkly contrasting with the generous gifts they brought when my sister-in-law had her baby. This year, for our son’s first Christmas at the family home, we’re allowed to stay for only one night, unlike my husband’s sisters who get to stay for the entire holiday.
They cited a lack of space in their 6-bedroom home, and we’re expected to bring our own bed sheets for that one night. This means a 90-minute return drive with our baby after dinner, which is especially inconvenient as we have an early flight the next day.
I’ve decided I don’t want to go, citing both the practical challenges and my concern about our son witnessing this unequal treatment. My husband thinks I’m escalating the situation, but I feel we’re already being treated as lesser family members.
One person stated, “NTA. Your husband is TA for tolerating this treatment of you and your baby and for suggesting that you should continue to be exposed to it.”
Another added, “NTA. Whoa! You have already tolerated way too much, and so has your husband. Pull back, start your own family traditions. See Dad and SM when it suits you. Imagine how your child will feel when they realize the inequalities they will suffer compared to their cousins. Stop this right now.”