I (24F) have been working since I was 18 and have been diligently saving money. Over the years, I’ve built up a decent emergency fund and started putting money aside for a house. My parents have always known I’m good with money, but recently my mom (48F) has been pressuring me to give her access to my savings account.
She says it’s because the family has had a lot of unexpected expenses lately, like car repairs and medical bills for my younger brother (15M). While I understand money is tight, I’ve always helped when I could. I’ve paid for groceries, contributed to household bills, and even helped cover my brother’s school supplies.
But my mom insists it’s not enough. She wants direct access to my savings account “just in case something big happens.” I told her I wasn’t comfortable with that since I’ve worked hard for this money and it’s meant for my future. I also mentioned that I’d be happy to help if a real emergency comes up, but I’d prefer to manage it on my terms.
She got really upset, saying I don’t trust her and that I’m being selfish. My dad has stayed out of it, but my older sister (26F) thinks I’m overreacting and should just let mom have access. She even said, “What’s the point of saving if you’re not going to help your family?”
Now, I’m feeling torn. On one hand, I want to help my family, but on the other, I don’t think it’s fair for me to hand over control of my hard-earned money.
AITA for refusing to give my mother access to my savings account.
TOP COMMENT
Access? More like clean out!! Do not give anyone access, family or not. You are NOT responsible for family bills!!
REPLY
Yup, they’re definitely going to empty the account. If OP complains, it will be “family helps each other.”
If sister says it’s no big deal, then they can just have access to her account then. She is probably going to understand why it’s not a good idea once her paycheck money disappears.
(Also, OP, like others said, lock your credit so they can not take out a CC, contact your bank and make sure your mother can’t go to your bank and add herself using your ID or birth certificate, etc)
RESPONCE
Just want to add to make sure you lock your credit with all three of the credit bureaus (Experian, TransUnion, Equifax) or you won’t be fully protected. It’s easy to do; you can call or do it online.
