AITA for refusing to watch my neighbor’s kid before school because she kept nagging me?

AITA for refusing to watch my neighbor’s kid before school because she kept nagging me?

I am a stay-at-home mom with two kids, “John” M10 and “Ava” F8. My neighbor “Zoe” F42 works full time and asked at the beginning of the school year if she could drop off her daughter “Sue” F9 an hour before school started twice a week. I agreed and was happy to help out a neighbor. However, things got bad pretty quickly.

My kids do not get along well with Sue and see entertaining her as a chore. Both of my kids enjoy sports, arts, and playing outside, while Sue is glued to her phone. Despite this, Sue pouts when my kids do their own thing instead of trying to engage her. Zoe called me a few weeks into the school year to nag me for having the kids walk/bike to school, saying it was unsafe and asking me to drive Sue. I told her no—if Sue was old enough to have a phone, she was old enough to walk/bike to school. A week later, she asked me to cook real sausage for Sue in addition to veggie sausage I make for my kids (my husband and I don’t buy meat). I told her no—Sue could eat what I cook but if she wanted specific food, she would have to prepare it herself.

For the first semester of school, Zoe nags me with similar requests. Don’t play songs with explicit lyrics, don’t let multiple kids on the trampoline simultaneously, watch the kids when they’re outside, etc. When I refused, she was respectful and would be like, “Sorry to bother you,” but she still had new requests every week. At the end of the semester, I told her I was not going to make adjustments to our family lifestyle and inconvenience my family for the sake of her child. Sue’s safety was not at risk. If she was unsatisfied with Sue’s situation, there were plenty of other people in the neighborhood who could watch her. Zoe seemed really receptive, and I was hopeful that would be the end of her nagging.

When my kids got home on December 20th, I asked, “Are you excited for 2.5 weeks with no school?” and John responded, “I’m more excited for 2.5 weeks with no Sue.” Ava nodded and giggled along. It broke my heart to know that they were more happy to get a break from Sue than school.

Just a couple of days ago, Zoe reached out to me, thanking me for agreeing to watch Sue and asking if I could watch her a couple afternoons a week in addition so Zoe could have some “me” time. I told her this would no longer work—our kids did not mesh well and I didn’t want to deal with more inappropriate requests.

I thought Zoe might be mad, but instead she just begged me to watch Sue at least one morning a week. She apologized profusely and said I could parent however I wanted to. This made me feel bad because she genuinely needed my help and did not know what she would do. I told her I knew I could and that her apology was too little, too late.

My husband and kids stand by my decision, but some of the other moms think I should have been more accommodating, saying I’m selfish, that moms help moms and I’ll never know when I might need help. Does my refusal to help Zoe make me an asshole?

TOP COMMENT

I remember someone doing that to family and it ended up being an absolute disaster and was amazing.

REPLY

It was selfish of her to keep Zoe all to herself. It’s nice OP is growing as a person and sharing the responsibility with others now

RESPONCE

Took the words right out of my mouth. If they think Zoe needs help then they should be volunteering because you’ve done your bit.

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