Hi, I’m an 18F college freshman, and I’m going through a bit of family drama right now. For context, I’m not super close to my extended family, but I still got invited to my cousin Lily’s (25F) wedding. Lily and I have always had a weird relationship—she’s the golden child who got straight A’s and followed every rule, while I’m, let’s just say, “a bit more fun.”
Here’s the thing: I LOVE fashion, especially bold, fun outfits. I bought this gorgeous, light pink bodycon dress for her wedding—not revealing, but it’s form-fitting, knee-length, and, well, flattering. I showed my mom, and she said it looked classy and perfect. Great, right? WRONG.
Fast forward to a week before the wedding, and I get a frantic call from Lily. She says she’s “heard from family” that my dress is “inappropriate” and “might distract her fiancé.” Yes, you read that right. Distract. Her. Fiancé. She asked me to either wear something “more modest” or just not come.
At first, I thought she was joking. Like, why would her fiancé even notice me on her wedding day?! But she was dead serious. I told her I wasn’t going to spend more money on a new dress because of her insecurities, and if her fiancé couldn’t keep his eyes to himself, that wasn’t my problem. She called me selfish and immature and hung up.
Now my aunt (her mom) and a few other relatives are blowing up my phone, saying I’m “ruining Lily’s big day” and that I’m “too young to understand how weddings work.” Meanwhile, my mom and my friends are telling me to wear what I want and not let Lily’s weird jealousy ruin my vibe.
I’m genuinely confused now. Like, I don’t want to cause drama, but I also think it’s ridiculous to police what I wear because of a hypothetical scenario involving her fiancé. I don’t even know the guy!
AITA for sticking to my dress and refusing to back down?
The action I took that might make me the asshole is refusing to change my dress for my cousin’s wedding and standing my ground despite her request. This led to conflict because she believes my dress is inappropriate and could distract her fiancé, which she sees as selfish on my part. I might be the asshole because I dismissed her concerns as insecure and refused to accommodate her wishes for what she sees as her special day.
TOP COMMENT
YTA
A form-fitting and “well, flattering” pink bodycon dress sounds inappropriate to me, and even if you think it’s not, the way you spoke to—and about—your cousin sounds bratty.
It’s her wedding; it’s not all about “your vibe.”.
And because you don’t seem to realise it—it’s not actually her fiance she’s concerned about. It’s you making a spectacle of yourself at your “boring” cousin’s wedding.
Get over yourself and grow up.
REPLY
Yes, if she wants to actually be a bigger person.
Also, the text kind of tells that OP is not that innocent, as she tries to portray herself. She is quite judgemental about her cousin and let’s face the facts: People who claim that they themselves are ‘fun’ are usually not that fun but more so just narcissistic or annoying. A bright pink bodycon dress is kind of a borderline outfit for a wedding anyway? I have a feeling that there is more to uncover, like outfits worn by OP to other family events in the past and how appropriate they were.
However, I might be wrong. Let us see the dress, OP! Then we can tell if they are okay.
RESPONCE
Edited to add YTA Lily is boring and perfect I’m so fun and fashionable, why can’t I wear a clubbing dress to her wedding?!?! Weddings are about the people who are getting married and there are usually dress codes. If you don’t want to do as she asks during her event that she planned and paid for, simply don’t go to her wedding. If you do, try to remember that the event isn’t ‘about you.
