Growing up I never really knew my dad. He was in and out of the picture and later years him and my mom would argue over his jail time for not paying child support. My mom died and I live in her house with my girlfriend and her child.
In my adult life my relationship has been the same with my dad. He reached out after my mom’s death but he never really made the effort and it always felt that if he tried to have a relationship with me it was always for a new girlfriend or wife benefit not mine.
My dad recently had a bed wreck and his apartment only had stairs. Him and his new wife acted like they will move into my home since it’s an old school ranch house. All one floor.
I told him no. He asked my why I didn’t trust him and he would pay rent. I told him why would I trust him to pay rent when he never paid my mom child support for years.
His wife told me that was a rude thing to say. I told maybe my they should ask one of her kids (she has 5) or one of my dad’s 3 other kids because of 1 of 9 I’m not stepping up to help because my dad has never helped me.
They accused me of dragging up their past and I told them their attitude is not going to mesh with mine long term. I was asked to leave the hospital because I was upsetting them while my dad was still there.
TOP COMMENT
That Karma always seems to come around!!
REPLY
Yes!
It’s called being accountable for your choices, your words, your actions and your deeds.
It’s a universal human truth.
Most of us learn to not be assholes bc the consequences suck.
They chose to be awful anyway.
Now we choose how our relationship w them w be based on our experiences of those actions.
Yes. Actions have consequences.
RESPONCE
NTA. Past behavior is indicative of future behavior. Also screw him, he and his wife have other children. The responsibility does not rest solely on your shoulders. No is a full sentence you should make use of liberally.
TOP COMMENT
Ooh – I love this – this is a brilliant way to put it, and I will use it going forward! Never could put my finger on why people saying this type of thing made me angry. Thank you-:now I can
REPLY
This is great! At least 1/3 of AITA and AITA-like posts call for this response to some aspect of the issue(s) raised in them!
RESPONCE
The other is “family helps family”, though the OP is the only “family” that is ever expected to help.
