I (27F) got engaged earlier this year to my fiancé (29M), and we’re planning our wedding for next spring. I’m thrilled about this new chapter in my life, but my older sister (34F) is making things really difficult.
For some context, my sister has three kids (10M, 7F, 3F), and they can be… a handful. I love them, but she doesn’t do much to discipline them. At my engagement party, they completely wrecked the gifts I received. One of them spilled juice all over a photo book my best friend had made for me, another ripped open a wrapped gift out of “curiosity,” and the youngest knocked over a cake stand. My sister just laughed it off, saying, “Kids will be kids!”
I was furious, but I didn’t want to cause a scene at the time. Afterward, I talked to her privately and asked her to be more mindful of her kids’ behavior at future events. She got defensive and told me I was being uptight and that “life with kids is messy.”
Now that we’re planning the wedding, I’ve told her that we want a child-free ceremony to avoid any disruptions. She’s furious, saying I’m excluding her family and making her feel unwelcome. She even accused me of being jealous because I don’t have kids yet.
My parents are siding with her, saying I should be more understanding and that “family comes first.” But honestly, I just want to enjoy my wedding without worrying about another disaster caused by her kids.
AITA?
TOP COMMENT
The sister answered her own confusion with “life with kids is Messy”.. exactly and OPs wedding shouldn’t be.
REPLY
There was 8 of us growing up. My parents would have tar and feathered each one of us if we acted up in public or at a party, church, whatever. All it took was a look from mum and we would shape up damn quick. If dad got the elbow from mum and had to clear his throat, we were all in trouble when we got home.
There was no “life is messy with kids”, that is literally your sister’s job to teach them not to behave like wild animals. Had we ever broken anything, we would be working off the cost doing chores and having our allowances docked. As far as children at weddings? No. Just no. No one under the drinking age. Sorry the banquet hall doesn’t allow minors. There is nothing worse than kids running around at a reception, crying, whining or causing problems because they are bored, way over tired and should have in bed hours ago. Weddings are adult events, period, full stop.
RESPONCE
Sister didn’t parent her little hellions. She is a lousy mother that excuses her kids’ behavior so she doesn’t have to deal with anything.
