When I met her eight months ago in grad school she seemed lost and weighed down by her struggles. She was thin to the point of frailty her energy was low and her mood often clouded with sadness.
Over time as we worked together on a project she began to open up about her battles with anorexia depression and a lack of self-esteem. It was heartbreaking to see someone so weighed down and I felt compelled to help.
As a long-time gym enthusiast I recognized how physical activity and proper nutrition could make a difference. I encouraged her to join me at the gym promising to guide her step by step and connected her with a dietitian for a meal plan.
It wasn’t easy at first progress was slow and there were many tough days but little by little she began to transform. She gained strength weight and confidence. Her energy returned and the light in her eyes was undeniable. Watching her come alive again was incredible and our friendship deepened into a relationship.
Fast forward to now: she has gone from 40 kg to 50 kg and receives compliments that make her glow. She’s happier healthier and thriving. I was genuinely proud of her constantly reminding her of how far she’d come. It seemed like we were in a good place until last week.
Out of nowhere she sat me down and told me she wanted to break up. She claimed she wanted to focus on being single though the suddenness of it left me blindsided. I was hurt but I respected her decision. Relationships end and while it wasn’t what I wanted I accepted her choice.
However she also wanted me to continue helping her at the gym. She’s still learning and feared she’d relapse into her old habits without my guidance and motivation. I told her I couldn’t do it.
The breakup hurt me too much to continue spending time with her in such an intimate way. I explained that I needed to prioritize my own emotions and well-being and couldn’t keep pretending everything was fine for her sake. I suggested she work with a personal trainer if she needed help moving forward.
She became upset accusing me of being cruel and heartless. She said I was abandoning her when she needed me most. But the truth is I’m not a robot. I’m a person with feelings and supporting her while nursing the sting of our breakup felt like too much to bear.
I poured so much into helping her and I’m proud of what we achieved together. But I can’t sacrifice my own mental health to keep being her lifeline after she decided we were better off apart.