As I prepare for the arrival of my first child in February, I’ve been clear about one thing: my birth experience will be private. This is the first grandchild on both sides of the family, so excitement is high, but I’ve set firm boundaries. Despite this, my father’s girlfriend, Lena, managed to turn those boundaries into a source of tension.
Lena and I have an okay relationship. We’re not close, partly because we’re so different. She’s deeply into influencer culture, constantly sending me posts from Instagram about childbirth and parenting things I’ve politely expressed I’m not interested in.
Months ago, she sent me a video of her favorite influencer’s labor, complete with a cutesy montage and family waiting outside the delivery room. I told her, quite bluntly, that it wasn’t something I’d ever consider.
At Christmas, Lena handed me an envelope during the family gift exchange. Inside was a business card for a videographer. She excitedly explained that she’d hired him to film my labor and delivery.
I was stunned but didn’t want to cause a scene. I thanked her in the moment, but the thought of a stranger filming such an intimate and vulnerable experience left me deeply unsettled.
The next day, my husband and I had lunch with Lena and my father. I gently explained that while I appreciated her gesture, I wasn’t comfortable having a videographer in the delivery room. I suggested she didn’t need to replace the gift, just to cancel the arrangement.
That’s when things spiraled. Lena got emotional, saying she couldn’t understand why I’d turn down such a “beautiful memento” of my child’s birth. My father jumped in, accusing me of being rude and ungrateful. I finally snapped, telling them I found the whole idea invasive and had made my feelings clear from the start.
My husband and most of my family are on my side, but my father’s disappointment and Lena’s tears have left me questioning if I overreacted. Was it wrong to stand by my boundaries, even if it meant rejecting her gift?