For as long as I can remember, I’ve dreamed of my wedding day a celebration filled with love, family, and memories to last a lifetime. But as the big day approaches, a surprising complication has threatened to overshadow those dreams.
I’m 27F, and my wedding to my fiancé (28M) is planned for March. We’re keeping things traditional, and I’ve been working hard to make sure everything is just right. At our family Christmas gathering, my brother’s fiancée, Emily (25F), pulled me aside to show me the dress she planned to wear to the wedding. It was stunning but it was also a full-on white gown. Not cream, not off-white bridal white.
I was caught off guard but tried to handle it diplomatically. I said, “Oh, Emily, I don’t think that’ll work. Brides usually wear white, and it might confuse people.” She laughed it off and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to upstage you or anything. I just love how I look in white.”
I politely explained that I’d prefer she choose another color, but she dismissed me, insisting no one would mistake her for the bride and that I was being “uptight.”
I later brought this up with my brother, hoping he’d help me set things straight. Instead, he got defensive, saying I was making a big deal out of nothing and accusing me of being insecure if I thought anyone would confuse her for the bride.
My mom and fiancé are on my side, agreeing that it’s basic wedding etiquette not to wear white unless you’re the bride. Despite this, Emily continues to downplay the issue, acting like I’m the problem for setting this boundary.
I’ve made it clear she’s welcome to wear anything else, but white is not an option. Emily, however, seems determined to push the issue, leaving me wondering if I’m overreacting or if she’s deliberately being disrespectful.
Was I wrong for asking her to respect a tradition as basic as this, or is Emily crossing the line by refusing to consider how her choice might affect my day?