It all started with a simple rule: no photos of our children on social media. My wife and I agreed on this long before our son was even born and we’ve stuck to it for nearly a decade. But her stepmother has never respected that boundary and after countless warnings and broken promises we’ve reached a breaking point.
Our family grew to include two children (8M and 5F) with a third on the way. Since the beginning we’ve emphasized that their privacy is non-negotiable. Most of our friends and family understand and comply without issue. But my wife’s stepmother? Not so much.
Over the years she has repeatedly posted photos of our kids on Instagram despite our explicit requests not to. Some pictures seemed innocent enough group family shots or moments she was part of but others crossed a line. A few times she even snapped pictures of them without their knowledge and shared them online.
Every time this happened we confronted her and she always promised to take the photos down. And she did but only until the next time she had access to the kids. This cycle has been ongoing since our daughter was born leaving us frustrated and feeling like our wishes were being blatantly ignored.
The final straw came this past New Year’s. We rented a beach house to celebrate with my wife’s paternal family a beautiful trip full of happy moments. But when we returned home on January 1 my wife’s stepmother posted several photos from the trip including three of our children on the beach. Two were candid shots where they didn’t even seem aware they were being photographed. They were in swimsuits and seeing those images online sent alarm bells ringing.
Enough was enough. My wife and I agreed that her stepmother’s inability to respect our boundaries meant it was time for serious action. We called her and explained that until she deleted her Instagram account entirely she wouldn’t be allowed contact with our kids. No visits no photos no invitations to family events. We told her it was her choice if she valued her Instagram account more than respecting our parenting decisions then she’d made her priorities clear.
She cried on the call promising once again that she’d delete the New Year’s post and swore she’d never do it again. But trust is earned and after years of the same behavior we weren’t willing to take her word for it anymore. She could keep her account if she wanted to but not access to our children.
The situation quickly escalated. My father-in-law who has always supported our decision to keep the kids offline reached out to my wife. He agreed that her stepmother had crossed a line but argued that cutting her off entirely was too harsh. He explained that she’d recently started making money through her social media account and felt it was cruel to force her to choose between that and her relationship with the kids.
We’re firm in our stance though. Her stepmother has had years of chances and gentle reminders to respect our wishes. Instead she has repeatedly chosen to disregard them. The fact that her Instagram is now a source of income only makes us more uncomfortable it raises questions about whether she’s using photos of our kids to drive engagement.
Some might see our decision as an overreaction but we see it as protecting our children’s privacy and setting an example about respecting boundaries. As parents it’s our responsibility to put their well-being first even if it causes conflict with family.
It’s a difficult situation but ultimately the choice is hers to make. She can delete her account and rebuild our trust or keep it and accept the consequences. For now though the safety and privacy of our children come first.