Disclaimer: The following story discusses inappropriate and predatory behavior. Reader discretion is advised.
I never thought I’d find myself in a situation like this but here I am trying to make sense of it all. My mom (43F) has been dating a man named Dave (45M) for about a year. At first he seemed nice enough if a little distant. I didn’t think much of him but over time something about his behavior began to feel off.
It started with small things compliments that felt a little too personal or excessive. He’d comment on my appearance more than I was comfortable with. I brushed it off at first thinking I might be overreacting. But then his behavior escalated. He started finding excuses to touch my shoulder or my back in ways that felt far from innocent. The discomfort grew but I wasn’t sure how to handle it.
A few weeks ago I decided I needed to confront him. I didn’t want to accuse him of anything without being certain but I needed to address the situation. I asked him directly “Is there something going on? I feel like you’re acting weird around me.” He laughed and dismissed me calling me “paranoid” and telling me to relax. It didn’t ease my concerns. If anything it made me feel more uneasy.
Then the situation took a turn I could never have anticipated. One night while my mom was out of town Dave came into my room while I was reading. He sat down on the bed and started talking about how I was “growing up so well” and how “beautiful” I looked. His words made my skin crawl. Before I could process what was happening he said “I’ve always had a thing for younger women you know?” and leaned in to try to kiss me.
I froze in shock but managed to push him away and yelled at him to leave. He got up and left the room but the damage was done. I felt shaken and violated unsure of what to do next. I barely slept that night replaying the incident in my mind.
When my mom returned the next day I knew I couldn’t keep this to myself. I needed to protect myself even if it meant causing upheaval in her relationship. I told her everything every detail of what had happened. At first she didn’t believe me. She accused me of trying to ruin her relationship saying I was being overly dramatic. Her reaction broke my heart but I stood my ground. Eventually after a tense and emotional conversation she realized I wasn’t lying.
She kicked Dave out and ended their relationship but now she’s furious with me. She blames me for ruining everything and has been distant ever since. I understand this was hard for her but I can’t regret speaking up. I needed to protect myself and staying silent wasn’t an option.
After sharing this story others shared their thoughts.
One person said “NTA. I would take a break from your mom. That is no way for a mother to respond to her child. My mom would have wanted to confront him immediately.”
Another added “So let me get this straight. Your mom would prefer you said nothing and tolerated predatory behavior so she could keep her relationship? If I were you I’d ask her if that’s really what she wanted.”
Hearing these perspectives has helped me feel more certain that I did the right thing. No one should ever feel unsafe in their own home and standing up for myself was the only choice I could make.