My (20f) father (56m) died by ending his own life earlier this month, leaving behind my siblings Josh (24m) and Ella (18f). He was a great dad and he loved us very much, although he had his mistakes.
For context my mom found out he had an affair with someone else shortly before I was born. She chose to stay and forgive him because she was under the impression that it was nothing more than a one night stand and nothing would’ve come from it.
About a year or two before his death we found out we have a half sister from him, Yvette (19f). She was handed over to my dad since her mom died and we were all surprised by her existence. The family was torn apart because of her because she chose to pry her way into our father’s life and our poor mom had to just accept her in our life. Our parents ended up divorced because of her and my siblings and I resent her for that. She tried to get close to us but we all only did the bare minimum to be nice to her since we had a connection because of our dad.
Now that our dad is gone that connection is gone and we have no obligation to her. On the day of his funeral Yvette tried to talk to us and we all just ignored her. She started hysterically sobbing while they buried my dad as if she had any real connection to him. She didn’t of course, I don’t know why she cared so much. As we were leaving she tried to follow us and I finally told her to f off and go elsewhere. She moved out at 18 so it’s not like she’s going home with us. She tried to say that she just wanted to be with “her family” and I told her that we aren’t family and never would be, and that since my dad is gone she’s on her own now. We left her there and have blocked her on everything.
Recently our extended family found out and now they’re lambasting us for being mean to her. But the thing is we shouldn’t have to respect the girl who tore our family apart. My mom is on our side and agrees that she did this to herself but none of our other family members will talk to us now and are in full support of her because they claim she did nothing wrong. Was I TA??
TOP COMMENT
INFO: Please explain your mom’s comment on how she “did this to herself”?
REPLY
Came here to say this. Everyone involved needs therapy. While you are allowed to choose who you have in your life, your anger is miss directed at her. For Fff’s sake, she lost her mother and that is why she came to your father. She didn’t choose it! And she was historically crying because she is now an orphan. You all still have your mother. You were all betrayed by your father, not her.
RESPONCE
Yeah, really. I have a half-brother who is the result of my dad having an affair. We were never close growing up, but I never blamed him for his own existence or for the breakup of my mom and dad. There were enough problems before he came alone, his conception was just kind of one of the final straws. We have gotten to know each other a little better as adults, and I just can’t imagine being angry at him for something my dad chose to do.