I (20M) live with my mom, dad and 3 little siblings in a three bedroom house.
My mom doesn’t want to work as she chooses to be with the kids even though she is able to.
My dad doesn’t want to work either and chooses to watch TV all day.
They fantasize about getting rich and such but don’t actually do anything.
I am faced with the burden of paying rent, helping out with groceries and buying household supplies etc.
Normally, this isn’t an issue. They’re my parents and I love to help out, but I feel I am being used and not appreciated.
While I’m at work, my dad stays home all day and doesn’t do anything, so when I come home on garbage day, they take all the garbage and leave it in the garage for me to put away, and the garbage isn’t even sorted properly, so I have to do that too.
Maybe that’s not a huge deal, but I feel that if you’re not doing anything, the least you can do is at least sort the garbage for me.
I also have to mow the lawn when I come home from work.
I also don’t really have any freedoms, which is annoying because I do feel like I deserve it.
I currently don’t have my own car and am trying to save up for one, so I use my parents car to go to work, which took some convincing because they didn’t want to waste gas money.
For all of last year, I had to walk one hour to work, leaving the house at 5am.
To add, I only make $17/hr.
Today, I confronted my mom and what I feel and how you guys can help me out some more or cut me a break on some things and she essentially said “you’re our son, if you don’t like it, you can move out”
AITAH? I don’t know if I’m being ungrateful.
EDIT: Some people think this isn’t true, so let me clarify some details.
My mom receives welfare and gets a “bonus” for my two little siblings who are under 18.
I’m not sure how much exactly she gets, but it’s enough where she can still pay a portion of the rent, and groceries.
I pay around $800 for the remainder for the rent, and another couple hundred for things like household supplies or random things my mom may want.
My issue is, both my parents are perfectly able to work, and they CHOOSE not to, which annoys me because they always complain about not having enough money even with me helping out.
If my parents couldn’t work, I would understand completely and have no issue helping out.
TOP COMMENT
And, the fact they said it as a threat, shows they are simply calling his bluff. They 100% are convinced he will NOT do that to them. Do what to them, you might ask? Well, hold them accountable and force them to be responsible for THEIR responsibilities.
I will bet dollars to donuts that should OP tell them he’s moving out, they will immediately go into a panicked fight or flight. Cue laying on the guilt, THICK(you can’t leave us like this!? How could you do this to your own family! After all we’ve done for you?! You owe us for housing, clothing, and feeding you as a child! Etc.), weaponizing the younger kids (how could you do this to them?! They’re just children! Do you WANT them to suffer? Etc.), AND attacking OP to tear him down (You’ll never make it on your own! You’ve never been a good son and this proves it! You’re just selfish and disrespectful! Etc.)
OP 100% needs to get out of there. He also needs to NOT TELL THEM. If he does, he’s going to face a battery of verbal and emotional abuse. He needs to quietly slip out of there and jump ship and come to terms with the fact his relationship with these freeloading, lazy, selfish, abusive, poor excuses for parents, will be nuked – as it should be.
Depending on the ages of his siblings and his relationship with them, he may want to leave them a letter explaining why he left and that he loves them. But no identifying clues about where he went. His parents will not take kindly to their cash cow up and leaving. They will employ any tactics they have to get him to feel bad and come home. Including getting family to attack him. He needs to be prepared for all of this.
OP:
NOTHING ABOUT THIS IS NORMAL, NOR IS IT ACCEPTABLE!
You are being abused. You are being taken advantage of. These people do not care about you! They only care about what they can get from you. You aren’t selfish for leaving. They are for trying to make you stay and fund their lazy and entitled asses.
Edit: formatting is hard.
REPLY
OP’s parents are exploiting his sense of duty and love for them. It’s not his responsibility to financially support an entire household, especially when they are perfectly capable of contributing but choose not to. He’s only 20 and already doing far more than most people his age.
RESPONCE
OP is being used, plain and simple. It’s one thing to help your family when they’re struggling through no fault of their own, but it’s another when they refuse to work or contribute. OP deserve better than this.
