I’m starting to feel like I have three kids instead of two. Today was just another example of the growing frustration with my husband’s behavior and I don’t know how much more I can take. His pattern of weaponized incompetence is wearing me down and today’s ordeal pushed me one step closer to the edge.
This morning our two-year-old son had an audiology appointment at 8 a.m. one I had scheduled well in advance. Since I was rostered to work I asked my husband to handle it. All he needed to do was take our son to the appointment and then drop both boys off at daycare. I do things like this all the time when he’s away for work at the mines so I didn’t think it was an unreasonable request.
I woke up at 6 a.m. to get ready for work and went to wake him up so he could get a head start on the day. That’s when the excuses started. “I’m so sick” he said “I’ve been up all night I’m sweating and my ear hurts.” Concerned but focused I said “Well once the kids are at daycare you can rest all day.” Instead of agreeing he flat-out refused. He said he couldn’t do it claiming he felt too unwell.
I asked if he had taken any medicine ibuprofen paracetamol anything but he hadn’t. He just lay there insisting he couldn’t manage. As a result not only did our son miss his important appointment but I also had to scramble to get both kids ready and drop them at daycare which made me late for work.
Later I texted him my frustration. His response? “I’m so sorry. I hate letting you down. I’m seriously unwell.” I stopped replying after that.
When I got home that evening I expected to find him in bed as sick as he claimed. But he wasn’t even there. I called him and he casually told me he was out shopping for groceries because “we’re out of food.” Not only that but he’d cleaned the house spotless as if that would fix everything. It was like he’d made a miraculous recovery just in time to avoid facing the consequences of his earlier behavior.
It’s infuriating. He let our son miss a crucial appointment made me late for work and then somehow found the energy to clean the house and run errands as if nothing had happened.
Some might say I should have left the kids with him and gone to work anyway but I knew deep down that he wouldn’t have handled it. This isn’t the first time he’s pulled something like this and every time it feels more intentional.
When I confront him he makes me feel like I’m overreacting calling me unfair or harsh. But I can’t help thinking this is a pattern one where he acts incapable to dodge responsibilities and then does just enough to make me feel like I’m the one being unreasonable.
I don’t want to feel this resentment toward my partner but I’m running out of patience. At this point I don’t know how to keep going like this. Something has to change and soon.