So I (F22) have an older sister (F28) who has 4 kids. She loves being a mom and wants to be a stay-at-home mom, and I encourage her to do whatever she wants. She understands that I have no desire to be a mom right now, if ever. I also have two other older sisters who feel the same way as I do they don’t want to be stay-at-home mothers. (This is important in the story.)
Her boyfriend (M27) is mad at me because he asked me when I’m going to settle down and said he could introduce me to his friend (M25) who wants a stay-at-home wife. I told him no, that I don’t want to date anyone this year. He got mad for some reason and asked why, so I told him my ex-boyfriend left me with trust issues. (My ex cheated on me six months into a three-year relationship.) He told me we broke up in 2023 and that I should start getting back out there. I told him it’s not his business, and he dropped it.
But two days ago, he asked me if I wanted to be a stay-at-home wife and mother. I told him no, that I don’t, and I’m not even sure if I want kids, let alone to be married. He got defensive because his mom was a stay-at-home wife and mom. I told him I don’t see anything wrong with being a stay-at-home mom, but personally, I don’t want to depend on a man for anything. He got defensive again and said not all men are the same. I agreed but pointed out that not all women want the same thing either. He said my sister wants to be a stay at home wife and mom, and I told him congratulations on finding that with my sister, but I don’t want to be a stay-at-home mom.
He got mad because he overheard me talking about getting an IUD and told me I’m ruining God’s plan to make me a mom one day. I told him whether I want kids or not is none of his business. He got mad and told me to get out of his home. so, I did. My older sister is asking me to apologize to him and not get an IUD, saying if I get pregnant, it’s God’s plan. She also told me I should reconsider being a stay at home mom/wife. I told her not everyone has that dream, and she accused me of not respecting stay-at-home mothers/wives, which isn’t true.
My two other older sisters are on my side and said my sister’s boyfriend shouldn’t be so concerned with how I live my life. They agree that if I don’t want to depend on anyone, that’s my choice. He also said I’m going to hell for being bisexual, so I shouted back that my sister (his girlfriend) must be going to hell too because she’s bisexual as well (which he already knows). Now their friends are calling me an asshole, saying he only cares about what I do with my body because it’s God’s body and I should respect it and become a mom soon.
So, am I the asshole for telling my sister’s boyfriend it’s not his business if I don’t want to be a stay-at-home wife/mom?
TDL: My sister’s boyfriend is upset that I don’t want to depend on a man or be a stay at home mom. He’s also mad that I’m considering getting an IUD, claiming it’s against God’s plan. I told him to mind his business.
Edit to clarify: I did explain this in some comments. Three out of her four kids aren’t even his.
My sister has a 7-year-old, a 4-year-old, a 3-year-old, and a soon-to-be newborn.
Edit 2: I’ve been asked why I was discussing getting an IUD with my sister’s boyfriend.
I wasn’t discussing it with him. My sisters and I were talking about it at his house while he wasn’t there. He walked in as I said I was thinking of getting an IUD, and that’s when he butted into the conversation. As soon as he said, “God’s body, not my body,” my two other sisters and I started talking to him about it. He raised his voice, so I raised mine, and we eventually left. I don’t like conflict at all.
Comments on this post
This guy sounds like a creep. Who is he to dictate what you do with your life, career, and body? I hope your sister supports you. NTA.
My sister wholeheartedly supports him and thinks I should apologize to keep the peace, but I told her I’m done keeping the peace.
He also supports the abortion ban?
Yes, he supports a national abortion ban even for rape and incest. That makes me nervous to be around him. My sister supports this too.
