I read a story on Reddit about a woman who is feeling conflicted about her boyfriend’s approach to her upcoming birthday. Here’s the situation:
This will be her second birthday since they started dating. Last year, her boyfriend (28M) surprised her with thoughtful gifts, showing that he put time and effort into making her day special. However, this year, he’s told her to just choose whatever she wants for her birthday.
While the idea of picking out her own gift might sound practical, she’s feeling hurt. To her, it feels like he doesn’t want to spend time thinking about something meaningful. Even if she tells him exactly what she’d like, it wouldn’t hold the same emotional value as a gift he’d chosen himself with her in mind.
She’s now wondering if this is a sign that he’s no longer as invested in the relationship, or if she’s overthinking the situation. It’s not as if he’s new to relationships; they’ve been together for 1.5 years, and he had a previous girlfriend for five years. He’s also aware that birthdays are important to her, which makes his behavior this year even more perplexing.
“It’s not about the gift itself but the effort behind it. If birthdays matter to you and he knows that, it’s understandable to feel hurt if it seems like he’s not putting in the effort this year.”
“Sometimes people think they’re being helpful by letting you choose your own gift, but it can come off as impersonal. Have an open conversation about why it’s important to you.”
“You’re not overreacting. Gifts are symbolic, and it’s natural to want your partner to show that they’re paying attention to what makes you happy.”
This story is a reminder of how small gestures can hold big emotional weight in relationships. What do you think—is she justified in feeling hurt, or is her boyfriend’s approach reasonable?