This story is a heartfelt look at how careless words can hurt, especially during the delicate postpartum time.
The writer, a new mom, is just five weeks after having her first baby. She’s adjusting to life with a newborn and the many changes her body has gone through. She’s gained some weight, and her body feels different than before, but she understands these changes are part of becoming a mom. While she’s trying to accept it, she sometimes can’t help but feel a little unsure of herself. It’s a sensitive time, and she’s taking things day by day.
On Christmas Eve, her family gathered to exchange gifts, a tradition she was excited to share with her baby for the first time. When it was her turn to open her gift from her mother-in-law, she unwrapped a flannel shirt in a size small. She smiled and thanked her MIL, trying to be polite. But then came the comment: “Yeah, I bought that for you because I know you don’t fit in your old clothes anymore.”
The words hurt immediately. She felt a mix of surprise and sadness. Did her MIL just make fun of her? The comment wasn’t needed, and it felt like it was aimed at something she was already feeling sensitive about. What made it worse was that she hadn’t shared any feelings about her body with her MIL, they weren’t even particularly close. Her MIL mostly only spoke to her when she wanted to hold the baby. The comment felt unnecessary, unkind, and out of place.
She kept calm and polite, but the words stayed with her. It hurt even more because she had given her MIL a beautiful Dutch oven pot for Christmas a thoughtful gift she had spent time picking out. As the evening went on, she couldn’t help but feel upset. While she had gone out of her way to pick something special, her MIL gave her a shirt with a comment that felt more like an insult. She started wondering if her MIL even deserved such a nice gift.
“doesn’t fit in their old clothes” isn’t helpful at any time but saying it to someone who just had a baby is especially hurtful. The remark didn’t consider how tender and emotional this time can be for a new mom.
The writer isn’t overreacting. Being a new mom is a special but challenging time, and her MIL’s comment was unnecessary and hurtful. She’s right to feel upset, and if she needs to step back emotionally from her MIL, that’s okay. Her priority should be her well-being and enjoying time with her new baby. As for the Dutch oven? Maybe next year’s gift won’t be quite as thoughtful.