I came across a story that really struck a chord with me, one mom’s struggle with lingering anger and nightmares after going no contact with her in-laws. It’s raw, emotional, and something so many people can relate to.
It’s been a couple of months since she last saw her in-laws. They’d been awful to her, caught up in a frenzy of “baby rabies,” obsessing over her kids in ways that made her deeply uncomfortable. Their behavior left her traumatized, so much so that she started having recurring nightmares about them trying to steal her children.
The nightmares are vivid and terrifying. She wakes up in a rage, unable to fall back asleep, stuck replaying past scenarios and seething over all the things she wishes she’d said to them. It’s not just a passing feeling, it’s a boiling, unrelenting anger that feels unhealthy.
She’s in therapy, but it doesn’t seem to be enough right now. Maybe it just needs more time, but the combination of sleepless nights, the nightmares, and the overwhelming “mama bear” instincts have left her feeling like she’s in a constant state of fight-or-flight. It’s unlike anything she’s ever experienced before. She knows she never wants her in-laws back in her life probably ever again but she’s desperate to let go of the anger and stop feeling like she’s trapped in a loop of rage.
*”My birth mom tried to tell me that if I didn’t marry my husband before my son was born, she would get full custody of my child if I died. She even told my extended family I was going to die during childbirth, even though my doctor assured me I was in great health.
That gave me horrible nightmares too dreams about my parents taking my child from me, cornering me, and calling me an unfit mother. The only thing that stopped the nightmares and the PTSD was cutting contact. I haven’t seen my mom in almost two years.”*
“How long did it take before the nightmares stopped? I’ve been no contact for about 2.5 months, which I know isn’t super long…”
It’s heartbreaking to see someone go through this, but it’s also a powerful reminder that healing takes time. Cutting toxic people out of your life is often just the first step letting go of the emotional aftermath is the real challenge. For this mom, it’s about finding peace, not just in her home, but in her mind, and that’s no small feat. Hopefully, as more time passes and she continues therapy, she’ll find herself waking up free of the nightmares and the rage. Sometimes, time and distance are the best gifts you can give yourself.