I (29F) am getting married in two weeks. My fiancé (31M) and I have been planning this wedding for over a year, and we’ve worked hard to make it special. It’s a mid-sized event with about 100 guests, and we’ve kept it pretty traditional: ceremony, dinner, speeches, dancing the usual.
Enter my cousin Emily (27F). She’s always been the type who loves being the center of attention, which isn’t usually a problem… until now. A few days ago, Emily pulled me aside during a family dinner and asked if she could make a “small announcement” at my wedding reception. When I asked what kind of announcement, she got all giddy and said, “Jake and I are engaged!”
I congratulated her but immediately told her that my wedding day wasn’t the right time or place for her announcement. I explained that my fiancé and I have spent a lot of time and money planning this day, and I didn’t want anything taking attention away from the celebration.
Emily looked genuinely hurt and said, “I thought you’d be happy for me. It’s not like I’m stealing the spotlight—it’s just one little announcement!” I stood my ground and said no, but she’s been sulking ever since. She’s even hinted to other family members that I’m being selfish and insecure, and now my aunt (her mom) is calling me to say I’m “making a big deal out of nothing.”
My fiancé is 100% on my side and thinks it’s ridiculous for anyone to use someone else’s wedding to make a big announcement. But part of me wonders if I’m overreacting. Emily swears she wasn’t trying to overshadow me, and I know it’s exciting for her to be engaged.
So, AITAH for telling my cousin she can’t announce her engagement at my wedding?
Top comment
Yep! Her wedding would be the perfect time to announce a pregnancy (fake or not) with twins no less!!
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Go immediately to Facebook, Instagram, X and whatever other media site that Emily frequents and broadcast how excited and pleased you are to have heard that Emily and whatshisname are now engaged to be married! When she accuses you of blowing her secret, just tell her you lost your head with the joy and excitement of her news. Never occurred to you to think she had asked to keep this a secret!
Responce to reply
While people are doing toasts & everyone is quiet, I can vividly imagine her & her fiancé tapping their glasses, standing up, “we’d like to make an announcement, OMG, we’re engaged!”. Not much Op can do at that point. People really suck sometimes, why don’t they just post it on social media or simply send cards to the family announcing it?
Top comment
Which is why she should “accidentally” spill the beans at some other family dinner before the event
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I mean, OP can go really petty and tell people beforehand. If it’s not that big of a deal that it would take away from OP’s wedding, why does Emily care how people find out?
Responce to reply
I would make it very clear to Emily (and the rest of the family) right now what the consequences of her actions will be if she decides to announce it anyway. I see so many of these where the person makes the announcement anyway and then is completely baffled when the op goes no contact or doesn’t want to spend the holidays with them or whatever. Or the rest of the family gets involved and says you’re over reacting or whatever.
I would tell her, her mom, and whoever else needs to hear it that if she makes the announcement you will consider that a great personal offense and will have no choice but to cut such a selfish person out of your life. That way instead of them telling you to keep the peace after the fact, they can tell your cousin to keep the peace ahead of time.
Also, if her mom is gonna yell at you and call you names, why not fight fire with fire. Have your mom call your cousin and rip her a new one about how awful and selfish and cruel she is and how it’s so disappointing that she can’t just put her own selfishness aside and support family for one day.