This story highlights how seemingly small gestures, like stocking stuffers, can carry a lot of emotional weight, especially during the holidays.
The writer shared her frustration after another disappointing Christmas Eve with her husband’s family. Every year, they do stockings for the adults and a white elephant exchange. But once again, her stocking felt like an afterthought, filled with random snacks and items she doesn’t like or use. This year, it contained chocolate-covered raisins, Life Saver gummies (neither of which she eats, as she’s mentioned before), two bath loofahs, car air fresheners, and a pair of socks. That was it.
Meanwhile, her husband’s stocking and those of her brother-in-law and sister-in-law were thoughtfully curated, filled with snacks they enjoy and items that clearly reflected their interests. Her husband received beef jerky, Peeps, gummy candies, tools, car cleaning supplies, and even a golden Rubik’s Cube. The difference was painfully obvious, and it stung.
Her own family, by contrast, has always made her husband feel welcome and valued. They’ve given him personalized gifts like engraved beer mugs, grilling utensils, outdoor gear, and even a military-themed “man-crate” one year. These thoughtful gestures make her feel proud of her family but also highlight the stark disparity in how she’s treated by her in-laws.
She’s not trying to sound ungrateful, but it’s hurtful to see the clear difference in effort. It makes her feel excluded and unappreciated. She wondered if anyone else experienced similar feelings with their in-laws this year.
“When you’re married and have young children, it’s not as easy as just not going.”
“Think about it this way: children will pick up on your mood and notice that you’re not treated fairly or with love. Is this the example you want to set? Sometimes it’s worth considering boundaries for their sake, too.”
Holidays are about love and inclusion, and it’s hurtful when the effort doesn’t feel equal. Thoughtful gestures—big or small—make people feel valued. While skipping the gatherings might not be an easy choice, setting boundaries or having a conversation about how this treatment affects you could be a step toward change. You deserve to feel appreciated and included, just like everyone else.