I read this story on Reddit about an 18-year-old who shared their frustration over how their dad handles household responsibilities, especially grocery shopping. For years, the responsibility of shopping has fallen on her shoulders. Since the age of 12, she has been the one making sure the family has everything they need, as her dad hates going to the store, and her mom has been increasingly less involved.
This year, she was cooking for Christmas and had a detailed grocery list for some specific recipes she was trying for the first time. When she couldn’t go shopping the day before, her dad volunteered to help. She gave him a list with clear instructions, including chicken thighs and blocks of cheese. He came back with ground chicken and pre-shredded mozzarella neither of which were on the list.
Frustrated, she vented to her mom, pointing out that this wasn’t the first time her dad had failed to follow simple directions. In another instance, when she needed specific items after her wisdom tooth surgery, he only bought four out of 20 items from her list even though she’d included pictures and told her the rest “weren’t necessary.” To make matters worse, he was using her money and didn’t even return what he didn’t spend.
Instead of siding with her, her mom got upset, claiming that they rarely ask the dad for help and that the household finances are strained because she’s the one always buying things for the house. However, the teenager feels that her dad’s weaponized incompetence is the root of the issue, and her mom’s frustration is misplaced.
“NTA. You have been doing the grocery shopping since you were 12?! While this isn’t a bad skill, why aren’t your parents involved? Why is your mom allowing your dad to be completely incompetent on this? You gave him your money, and did he even give any back? You’d be better off getting an Instacart shopper at this point or doing a curbside pickup. Make some crap meal and when asked, just say it’s what Dad got, despite the very detailed list he was given.”
“My mom was involved till I turned 15, then it was only me. He didn’t give me the money back just told me it was going toward my future car, which he’s been promising since I was 14.”
This story resonated with many people, especially those who’ve had to deal with weaponized incompetence or uneven household dynamics. It’s a reminder of how important it is to share responsibilities and acknowledge when someone is being unfairly burdened.