My dad’s girlfriend, let’s call her Sarah, was in charge of organizing Christmas gifts last year. I had made my list pretty simple: AirPods and a couple of small things. That’s it. But when Christmas morning came, I unwrapped a 30-pack of earrings and a fanny pack that looked like one from Lululemon but definitely wasn’t. I said thank you, smiled, and moved on. What else could I do? I didn’t want to come across as rude.
Thing is, I don’t wear cheap earrings because they always give me ear infections, and the fanny pack? Not really my thing unless it’s for some long trip with a lot of walking. So, the gifts went into my closet and, well, stayed there. I never used them. It’s not that I wasn’t grateful for the gesture, but these just weren’t items I’d asked for or had any real use for.
Fast forward to this year, Sarah was helping me hide presents for my siblings in my closet and stumbled upon last year’s unused gifts. Cue the drama. My dad confronted me later, saying Sarah was really hurt that I hadn’t used the gifts. He called me ungrateful and told me I should’ve told her I didn’t like them. But how could I have done that without sounding rude or unappreciative? I’d said thank you and moved on because that felt like the polite thing to do.
He argued I should’ve at least used the gifts in front of her to make her happy. That’s where I drew the line. Why should I owe anyone the act of using something I didn’t want or need just to “make them happy”? It’s not like I asked for these things. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but I also didn’t feel it was fair to expect me to fake enthusiasm or force myself to use something that doesn’t work for me.
And for the record, I did get the AirPods I’d asked for that Christmas from my dad and I love them. I use them all the time. They were perfect, exactly what I’d wanted. So it’s not like the whole Christmas was a bust.
Some people online shared their thoughts about this situation, and it honestly made me feel a little better.
“You thanked her and weren’t rude about it. That’s literally the polite thing to do. You’re not obligated to use gifts you don’t want or can’t use.” Another chimed in with, “She’s 29. She should be mature enough to understand that not every gift is a hit. This isn’t about her.”
“It’s not like you threw them out or complained. They just weren’t your style. She needs to not take it so personally.”