For the past two years, my stepsister, a five-year-old, has been dealing with frequent nightmares. Once or twice a week, she wakes up scared and comes to my room for comfort, wanting to sleep in my bed with me. But every single time, I send her back to her mom.
I don’t check on her, I don’t let her stay I simply tell her to go to her mother and then try to fall back asleep, though her interruptions often leave me frustrated and unable to settle quickly.
This has been happening for so long that it’s now causing tension in the household. My dad’s wife (her mom) is upset that I won’t comfort her daughter. We’ve argued about it several times, and now even my dad has gotten involved, telling me I should step up and help because she sees me as a brother. I’ve made it clear to both of them that I don’t view it that way.
It’s uncomfortable for me. I’m not her parent, and I’m not her brother in any real sense she’s my stepsister, and while I tolerate her presence, I’ve never asked for or wanted this responsibility. I told them outright that it feels inappropriate and unsettling for her to sleep in my bed, even if she doesn’t see it that way.
My dad’s wife called me a brat, accusing me of hurting a little girl just because I haven’t accepted their marriage. She even suggested that I should bond with her over the fact that we both lost a biological parent, as if that’s a magical solution to what feels like a forced dynamic.
She said I could be a protector for my stepsister in the future. I told them that wasn’t something I signed up for, especially not being woken up in the middle of the night by a crying child I’m expected to comfort.
I can’t shake the feeling that this situation is wrong. Why isn’t her mom the one she instinctively goes to? Has she been told to come to me instead? And why hasn’t her mother sought help for her? The nightmares seem frequent enough that they may stem from unresolved trauma, like losing her dad.
Now I’m left wondering if I’ve been too cold, or if I’m justified in standing my ground. After all, I’m just a teenager I didn’t sign up to be a substitute parent or shoulder this kind of responsibility.