My partner’s OCD has been progressively worsening over the past year and it’s starting to impact every aspect of our lives. Before we leave the house he has a meticulous routine of physical and mental checks ensuring everything is in its place and running through internal reassurances.
These checks have been taking longer and longer making us late to nearly every event. I’ve tried to be supportive gently encouraging him to seek professional help but he’s adamant that he can handle it on his own.
Two weeks ago my boss hosted a dinner party at a restaurant to celebrate my recent promotion. This wasn’t just another gathering; it was a pivotal opportunity to strengthen my professional relationships. Knowing how long my partner’s checks could take I urged him to start getting ready two hours before we had to leave.
Even with that buffer he was still caught up in his routine. Each check seemed to drag on and he spent over 30 minutes just cycling through his rituals. By the time we needed to leave I realized we were already running late. Panicking about the impression I might leave on my boss and coworkers I told him I couldn’t wait any longer and left without him.
I arrived five minutes late and blamed it on traffic. Thankfully no one seemed to notice or care but my partner was furious when I returned home. He said I was dismissive and insensitive for leaving him behind and that I should have waited regardless of the circumstances.
I understand his frustration but this situation has left me feeling stuck. His refusal to get professional help means his OCD isn’t just his challenge anymore it’s starting to affect my life too. I’ve tried to be patient but missing or being late to important events is a recurring issue.
To make things more difficult his routine doesn’t allow for flexibility. During his checks I can’t even speak to him or else he has to restart the entire process. While I don’t want to be unsupportive I’m struggling to balance empathy for his condition with maintaining my own commitments.
Was leaving the right choice or should I have stayed and risked being significantly late for something so important? This tension hasn’t eased and I’m not sure how to navigate it moving forward.